5.12.05
i've alwayz had a lot of interests.
Piano, dancing (hip hop), singing, writing, composing...
im never exactly super pro at these,
but im at least average.
so i sign up for courses n have fun cultivating my interests.
i wuz happy n i thanked god for parents who earn enough
to keep up with my expenses,
as well as the opportunities He has blessed me with.
but things changed juz now...
i juz found out that my piano lessons fee for this mth,
added up with my sista's, goes up to over 1000+ bucks.
my parents scolded me.
they think i dun value money.
they think i dun understand their hardwork to earn money.
they think im responsible for my sista's irresponsibility too.
but truth is, my heart aches more than theirs.
becoz of my interests, i've used up much of their money.
now im beginning to wonder...
i enjoy playin piano, i enjoy dancing,
i enjoy singing, i enjoy writing.
but maybe there's no need to pay so much for courses.
i've learnt enough to at least read piano scores.
though im already learning grade 8,
maybe it's time i stopped learning...
i only wish to play for the church one day.
so that what i've learnt will not go to waste.
my dad said v.mean things juz now.
he said i cant sing, yet alwayz think of signing up for vocal lessons etc.
then he said dancing is a useless skill,
waste of time n money.
but im not a lousy dancer in my class.
he only encourages me to write n publish a bk,
becoz it'll look good on my CV.
sometimes i wonder if my parents think too much abt my future.
so much so that everything i do,
it must benefit my future life n career.
im not allowed to do "fun things" or "pointless stuff",
even if those r things that kids r meant to do.
i feel that they r forcing me to grow up.
im happy in this family,
yet im also restricted in some ways.
i cant really make my own choice,
in fact, i dun exactly have any choices.
whateva i do, whateva i think,
i alwayz end up doin what they want me to do.
it's sth that i feel will not be resolved in the near future.
it might take yrs.
it might take forever.
How i long to be daring n rebel against them.
How i wish to argue with them n fight for what i want.
But it'll be against the wishes of Him.
Im supposed to respect n obey my parents.
even if they dun understand my point of view.
im sure things r not as bleak as they seem.
my parents r stubborn, but i can talk to them.
it'll all work out in the end.
somehow.
it alwayz does.
my dear friends,
now i can only count on you for comfort n advise.
~Stay With Me~
till the day things work out in my family,
i promise not to cry in front of you,
even though you've seen me cry many times.
i promise to smile n laugh,
even though your jokes r as lame as mine.
tranquility ; 12/05/2005 10:56:00 pm.
5.12.05
i've alwayz had a lot of interests.
Piano, dancing (hip hop), singing, writing, composing...
im never exactly super pro at these,
but im at least average.
so i sign up for courses n have fun cultivating my interests.
i wuz happy n i thanked god for parents who earn enough
to keep up with my expenses,
as well as the opportunities He has blessed me with.
but things changed juz now...
i juz found out that my piano lessons fee for this mth,
added up with my sista's, goes up to over 1000+ bucks.
my parents scolded me.
they think i dun value money.
they think i dun understand their hardwork to earn money.
they think im responsible for my sista's irresponsibility too.
but truth is, my heart aches more than theirs.
becoz of my interests, i've used up much of their money.
now im beginning to wonder...
i enjoy playin piano, i enjoy dancing,
i enjoy singing, i enjoy writing.
but maybe there's no need to pay so much for courses.
i've learnt enough to at least read piano scores.
though im already learning grade 8,
maybe it's time i stopped learning...
i only wish to play for the church one day.
so that what i've learnt will not go to waste.
my dad said v.mean things juz now.
he said i cant sing, yet alwayz think of signing up for vocal lessons etc.
then he said dancing is a useless skill,
waste of time n money.
but im not a lousy dancer in my class.
he only encourages me to write n publish a bk,
becoz it'll look good on my CV.
sometimes i wonder if my parents think too much abt my future.
so much so that everything i do,
it must benefit my future life n career.
im not allowed to do "fun things" or "pointless stuff",
even if those r things that kids r meant to do.
i feel that they r forcing me to grow up.
im happy in this family,
yet im also restricted in some ways.
i cant really make my own choice,
in fact, i dun exactly have any choices.
whateva i do, whateva i think,
i alwayz end up doin what they want me to do.
it's sth that i feel will not be resolved in the near future.
it might take yrs.
it might take forever.
How i long to be daring n rebel against them.
How i wish to argue with them n fight for what i want.
But it'll be against the wishes of Him.
Im supposed to respect n obey my parents.
even if they dun understand my point of view.
im sure things r not as bleak as they seem.
my parents r stubborn, but i can talk to them.
it'll all work out in the end.
somehow.
it alwayz does.
my dear friends,
now i can only count on you for comfort n advise.
~Stay With Me~
till the day things work out in my family,
i promise not to cry in front of you,
even though you've seen me cry many times.
i promise to smile n laugh,
even though your jokes r as lame as mine.
tranquility ; 12/05/2005 10:56:00 pm.
