30.12.05
Young 
AND Old
had a long msn chat with sixuan last night n i must say, i learnt quite a lot. i told her abt not being able to get along well with ppl my age, n she said maybe if i dun keep thinkin they're my age, i'll be able to get along well with them.
i thought that makes a lot of sense, becoz when i talk to ppl, i keep thinkin in my mind that he is my senior, or she is my junior. but when it comes to ppl my age, i juz have that mental block to talk to them. i suppose i should really stop thinkin liddat.
but i think what makes a person senior to me, is not his or her age, rather, it is the mature way he or she thinks n the experience they have. It is the wisdom they have that makes it more comfortable for me to talk to them and the good advise they can give me.
Lyk i talked to michelle last night too, n she said i feel that yf is the best thing that ever happened to me becoz i only meet them once a week, n perhaps during the annual camp, so i cannot see the flaws that they have. So that's why i prefer them to my school frens.
This is something i never thought of, and now reflecting on it, it's very true. Im sure if i spent everyday with the yf, common conflicts would pop up too, juz lyk in school.
If someone who is, say, 4 yrs older than me, but behaves like a child n has completely no sense of direction in life, not to mention totally NOT sensible, i must say, i cant see him as my senior.
In other words, anyone whose thinkin is more mature than me, and has more experience in life, is my senior, and anyone who needs help n advise from me is my junior. Other than that, everyone else is my age.
Im not sure if this makes sense to you, but it's how i feel.
Perhaps i cant get along very well with ppl my age becoz there's nothing much we can talk abt.
Lyk if i talk to a senior, i can ask him/her for advise when i need to adapt to new changes or ask qns abt growing up. And when im talkin to a junior, i can tell him/her my life experiences n share with her some of the probs i once encountered, similar to his/hers.
But wad to talk abt with someone my age? Someone sharing the same probs as me, someone who cant give me advise on solving those probs? Of coz, when i meet someone with common interest as me, we have loads to talk abt, especially if our lives r somewhat similar.
Take lynn for example (the girl who went to carolling practise with me). We talk abt anything, n i think it's mostly becoz she's more mature n she thinks widely. We both have our own faults, but becoz of the similarities we share, conflicts seldom arise. Plus, lynn has high tolerance level n is a really forgiving girl.
But frens lyk her are hard to come, so i find myself mostly talkin to seniors/juniors. I like swapping life stories n talkin abt things that make you think. One of my good frens in NY once said to me, "Jianni ah, you don't know how to crap!"
It's true, i suppose. I cant bring myself to ask pointless qns or qns with very obvious answers. If i do, it's either out of genuine curiosity, or im feelin wacky.
I admit, not being able to crap does cramp my social circle a little, becoz with the ability to crap, that good fren of mine is able to make frens just like that *SNAP* But i believe in makin real frens who can share secrets n probs with each other.
Crappin helps us to make frens, but r they real, long lasting frens? I make frens based on interests or similarities, but that doesnt mean im not friendly. I can be frens with everyone, but good close frens?
Limited.
Call me fussy, but i'll rather have a few close-to-heart frens, than a humongous circle of frens, amongst which none of them have a deep friendship with me.
Hmm ok.
TIME OUT.
Lemme think.
How did i end up talkin abt makin frens?
Wait wait wait...
Ummhmm...
DING *lightbulb lights up*
Senior n junior right?
So back to Point One.
I personally dont see this as a prob (not being able to get along well with ppl my age), becoz i believe if im made to be frens with someone, we will be. If i cant get along that well with most ppl in my age grp -shrugs- what can i do?
I will try, but i will not change the way God made me.
There are those who can only get along well with juniors, n those who only like seniors. For me, im juz a minority who likes both grps of ppl, but cant walk hand in hand with my age grp.
Oh well.
Maybe one day i'll be able to see the world through the eyes of my age grp ppl. Then i'll know what they're thinkin.
But for now, im juz happy being around the lil n older ones.
:)
tranquility ; 12/30/2005 02:20:00 pm.
