on the stairway to heaven ;

31.1.06

it's the latest buzz now.

cny.

as much as i dont have the inspiration to blog now, i feel that i should at least say something during this festive period.

if not ppl will think i died in the middle of cny n relived three days later when sch reopened.

yea wadeva.

feeling kindda neutral now.

what with all these celebration goin on, i feel like i need some time to breathe n think.

yea i know, the money is good n all, but heck, after a while, u juz cant be bothered with how much u get. i mean, now im juz hoping to get enough money to last me for 2 more mission trips to balai (oh, juz to sidetrack a little. im goin for the 18th feb trip. if anyone can make it, pls pls come kz? the more the merrier ^.^) n now that i've got more than enough for 2 mission trips, im not bothered abt gettin more ang baos.

so anywaaay......

parents hosted 2 parties over the past few dayz. one small, the other BIG. both were crazy n filled with lots of singing. i made some new frens during the second party, but too bad they left before we could exchange contact info.

um. yea. no more dreams on joshua ang. at least not for now :P

OHH gosh.

but i THINK i saw shawn lee today?

i went visiting somewhere in bedok with my family, n when we were goin to leave (we were at the multistorey carpark. 4th floor), this car drove up n i rmb starin at the driver coz he looks so young. as in, underaged for driving that kindda young.

n he looked back, but i think i was feeling too drained or sth, n it wuz after the car had drove off then i realised he looked A LOT like shawn lee.

n the passenger next to him was an equally young GIRL.

she looked A LOT like the actress in I Not Stupid (part 1). terry's sister i think. the really rich n snobbish one? yeah. her.

so the 3 of us (jamie, joyce n me) told dad to drive up to the car (it wuz parking) so we can take a better look.

i saw the two of them laughin n talkin in the car as we went past.

jamie insisted the gal wasnt the actress. she said the girl looked like ty's gf. vivian i think.

SO NOT.

hurrmph!

im soo sure she's the actress.

but wadeva =)

hmm other than this incident, i dont have much to blog abt le.

thanks for reading ^_^

byez~~

tranquility ; 1/31/2006 07:51:00 pm.

29.1.06

it was a seriously WEIRD dream.

these two divine beings approached me one day, n told me i'll be goin to heaven in XX days. i was required to pack everything that i need or wanted to take along (i can take ANYTHING i want *biggrin*).

so i told the news to EVERYONE. n they were all really sad n everything. me? i wuz absolutely thrilled!

i was a little nervous also. coz i know i'll NEVER return to Earth again, so i mustn't forget to bring anything. besides, i'll be spending an eternity in heaven, so muz bring loads of stuff.

so there i was, busy digging out stuffs in my room, takin as much stuff as i can (the angels said i could!) n i totally didnt feel sad or anything abt leavin.

then The Day came, n i was ascoted to this strange part of the town. there was this lift-like thing that radiated brilliantly dazzling beams of white light. it was the portal to heaven i think.

so anyway, everyone was like crying n stuff, but i was urgent to use the toilet, so i FLEW off to the nearest toilet (i had to cross this deserted meadow that was full of poisonous thorns!).

i really literally flew off to this toilet in a straw hut. after im done, i returned to the portal to say my final goodbyes.

thats when the weird thing happened.

there r these 3 guys there, i dunno two of them, but the third one is JOSHUA ANG. hhaha! it's really CRAZY!

so i went up to them n said, "Let's have a goodbye grp hug!!"

As if i know them!!

One of them looked at me, like, "Huh? Errpz..."

-_____-"

The second one juz told me in the face, "You crazy ah."

And joshua ang?

Oh man he was such a meanie in that dream!!

He didnt even look at me when i spoke, then he juz turned his back on me n walked off with that qian bian look.

dammit.

that was so irritating larh.

haha.

so anyway, the angels called for me to leave le, n that was when the full situation hit me.

I WAS NEVER GONNA SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN!!

n i think i cried.

i panicked.

coz i had to leave le.

n i hadnt said my final words to my family.

"Daddy, mummy, even though i never told u, but im really happy to be your daughter. You've done a great job of bringing me up."

"Jamie, study hard, ok? And stop arguing with Joyce. Be nice to her."

"Joyce, be a good girl n listen to daddy n mummy, alright? Dajie is leaving now, i'll see ya soon, kz?"

The light grew fiercer n brighter, then suddenly i rolled off the bed n woke up painfully.

i wasnt crying, but i knew i was cryin in that dream.

it was so unbearably SAD.

i had no regreats to leave this world, but i totally cannot leave my family!

the dream made me realise that even though we will all eventually meet in His kingdom, i must still do my best treat my family well, so that i wont miss them if i ever leave earlier than them, or vice versa.

i know as christians we shldnt be afraid of death, but the longing for ur family members or frens is incredibly miserable.

i cant help but think of those who has lost their loved ones or close frens.

i feel like cryin for them.

but i dont think they'll wanna talk abt it.

hmm.

i really hope to share their lonliness and pain, n understand how izzit for them. i keep thinkin of the tsunami victims. i hope to talk to one of them someday.

sighx...

i keep wonderin if this dream of mine is like a msg or sth. coz it's the first time i have such a vivid n HEAVENLY dream.

it's a beautiful dream, yet unbelievably depressing.

i have this empty dread inside me now.

like something really bad's gonna happen.

but maybe im juz imagining things.

i really dont wanna lose anyone in my life.

but i put my trust n faith in God.

what shld happen will happen.

n i'll obey His will willingly.

besides, nth in my life belongs to me. it's all rightfully His. n He has the right to take away anything at any time.

i juz pray that He reminds me constantly of the blessings i have, so that i'll treasure what i have. n embrace my life.

~~~***

**********

~~~***

tranquility ; 1/29/2006 02:13:00 pm.

27.1.06

haven't blogged for a long time now.

perhaps it's coz sch has started n i dont have much time to reflect upon my day. time flies past faster now, n im so preoccupied with my daily work that i can only think when im sleeping. or maybe it's coz im juz not inspired enough to blog.

wadeva the reason, im back today becoz i have been inspired n touched by an incredibly beautiful movie.

I Not Stupid 2.

I was so inspired by it that i wrote a full moview review on it!

Take a look at it n decide for urself if u wanna catch the movie.

Ever wondered how life is like for students in the Normal Technical stream? Ever thought of how teenagers even join gangs in the first place? What about rich kids? Is life perfect for them?

In the two and a half hours movie, I Not Stupid 2, all these questions are answered through the lives of two teenagers and an eight-year-old boy. The three main characters are crafted in such a way that each of them represents a percentage of the students in Singapore.

Tom, the older child in a rich family, finds interest in blogging and enjoys hanging out with his guy friends. He lacks communication with his busy parents and at age fifteen, he is undergoing a rebellious stage. Near the climax of the movie, due to unreasonable chidings from his parents and his talent being unappreciated by them, he finally loses all senses and joins a gang with his best friend, Cheng Cai.

Cheng Cai came from a single parent family. His mum had passed away, leaving him with a crippled and violent father. Between the two of them, no love is expressed and hard feelings build up. The boy’s interest in martial arts is objected strongly by his father, and there are many disagreements between them. Matters got worse when Cheng Cai was expelled due to his bad records and he failed to recognise his father’s futile attempts to find him another school. When Cheng Cai gets involved in a serious street fight, his father is critically injured in an attempt to fight for his son.
Jerry, the brother of Tom, has a natural curiosity like most little boys and concerned about the family. Using his wits and intelligence, he patches things up between his parents and helps his wayward brother pay the extortion money from two fake policemen. Through his innocent and kind ways, the viewers can see how simple a child’s mind works; yet it can appear so complicated that even adults cannot fathom.
The three characters gave the viewers an insight to the lives of the minority students in Singapore – from broken families to communication breakdown – but they all have one thing in common – they have nothing at home, and everything in their friends.
Yes, the message of friendship is clear in the movie, and it shows us how important friends can be to those who are hungry for love and concern. Friendship is so important to these students, that it can sometimes be dangerous, and even misleading.
Tom and Cheng Cai joined a gang in an attempt to be recognised for who they are and gain a sense of security, as well as reassurance that they belong to somewhere. Since home cannot make them feel loved and appreciated, they turned to the outside world, where they thought they had “brothers” who supported them all the way. Eventually, these “brothers” were the ones who turned around and bit them hard.
Thus comes the message of parents’ concern and love. The movie cleverly makes use of three parents to show how parents in general tend to behave when it comes to loving their children – One of them didn’t know how to express his love; another was too busy to show his love, and the mother expressed her love the wrong way.
Showing the results of these three behaviours to the viewers made the parents reflect upon their own teaching method, and many will realise what will happen to their children if they do not change their way of upbringing.
The behaviour and actions of the three main characters in the movie are shocking, surprising, and to some extent, hilarious. These emotions stir the thoughts of the viewers and force them to think about their individual lives.
Though the subject of the movie is simple – the true life stories of some juvenile delinquents – the purpose it has achieved is highly commendable. The movie turned out to be educational for both children and parents alike, and though a little exaggerated for effects, it is nonetheless inspiring and touching.
Bits of humour were thrown in at the start of the movie to make the viewers feel relaxed and also get their attention on the lives of the three main characters. Once the attention is there, the director brings up in the serious matters and the climax increases. By selecting the right type of music, the mood and emotions of the scenes were effectively brought out and the simple story plot enabled the director to guide the viewers along the movie and convey his message to them clearly in an orderly way.
The movie also makes it clear that it’s not an effort on the parents’ part only. The whole communication thing works two ways, and teenagers should cooperate in order for a win-win situation to take place.
After watching the movie feature those two families, the viewers understand how both parties – parents and child – play a role, and if any one side goes wrong, they must all take some blame.
It is a meaningful movie with a light touch of sadness at the end because of someone’s death, however, it leaves viewers with enough space to think through the whole movie and try to understand why the director made things happen that way.
All in all, I have a positive say towards the movie and though it is slightly violent in the family scenes, I will still strongly recommend it to all families, especially parents who are having trouble with their teenagers. At the end of it, it is almost guaranteed that you will feel for the characters and the movie will leave you with tingling mixed feelings as you exit the theatre.

Yupyup.

So there u have it.

My real opinions about the movie.

And not to change the subject, Shawn is soo cute n Joshua's really hot!

Gosh.

They've changed SOO much since the first movie.

They're really quite tall now ^.^

Im NOT being a fanatic, kz.

I dont know them personally, so cant say much abt their character.

But im stating true n honest views on their physical appearances ONLY.

IM NOT THEIR FAN.

Ok wadeva!

Um. their acting skills might have improved, cant really tell, coz their roles didnt change much. Joshua is still the fighter, n Shawn the quieter one. But anyway, im sure they must've improved somewhere.

Ohh but the kid who acted as Jerry is really good!

I dont know if that "blur look" of his is natural, but if he acted that one, then he's seriously actor material.

So anyway, try to catch that movie someday, ppl. it's definitely worth the time!

tranquility ; 1/27/2006 05:17:00 pm.

22.1.06

there are actually a lot of feelings inside me right now. all mixed up. but i cant say it here. coz i dont want to pass my negative vibes to the viewers.

school's fine.

the family's alright.

strange thing is, the problem lies with the thing im closest to, n the frens i love most.

The church.

And the yfers.

So irionic.

Never mind.

It'll all be ok at the end of the day.

It always will.

Wanna sleep now.

Nights.

tranquility ; 1/22/2006 10:30:00 pm.

17.1.06

To my mentees:
Sry if i cant call u girlz up n chat abt ur lives n stuff. I swear i'll talk to you on sunday kz? All the best for ur studies n everything else. Alwayz have faith in God n trust Him to make things right for you!
To yfers:
Some of you have this amazing ability to send me encouraging smses whenever im feeling down, without anyone telling you! And i know even though i sometimes talk a bit too much on msn, askin qns n seeking advise, all of you can bear with me v.well, n give me really good answers. Im really grateful n i hope to be able to do the same for you peeps ;) LOVEYOULOVEYOULOVEYOUALL!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!!!

I needed to find a speech, or craft my own, as part of a school project for Language Arts. I've been stressed by this problem for a long time liaox, but last night, while i was doin quiet time, the writer mentioned this speech called I Have A Dream, by Martin Luther!!

And it was, like, DINGG!

I juz KNEW God was helping me becoz the speech is abt racism n how we should get along well in God's love that kind.... it's SO PERFECT *screams* Wooohooo. So now i've one less reason to stress becoz of school :D

Of course, there r still a lot of things to stress abt, especially after today.

There's Chinese Project (topic not decided, grp members not finalised... NOTHING DONE YET!), Bio tasks (two of them!!), Physics SIA (review of a science article. this one is not so bad, coz i found a rather interesting article on the theory of a yoyo ^.^), Chem SIA (research on background, vision etc. of Jurong Island. it's like a pre-vist write up) n Lang. Arts Portofolio (this is like v.v.v.v.V.IMPT coz it determines whether i can get the humans scholarship. but it's a whole yr thing, so i can take thingz easy. FOR NOW).

And to top off all that stress with choc chips, i juz FAILED my bio quiz (4 out of 10. it's like the LOWEST score in class. n it's only a quiz!!), n i think i might have failed my maths RETEST too (coz my tchr had a Talk with me), PLUS, my maths quiz totally let me down too (5 out of 10).

Whoops.

It sounds like im so not fulfiling my role as a good student. But pls! Someone give me a break. I have to pick up somewhere from last yr right? Im trying, alright?

STOP - PUSHING - ME!!!!

It's not as if im completely letting God down by slacking or anything. Far from that, my dad has moved the comp into my room, which means no more internet access. So only time i can chat is when i surf the net for project info using mum's laptop.

And he has programmed the tv in such a way that it's permenently switched off.

So no more tv too.

^_^

Isn't that great? Now i can spend ALL my time STUDYING.

-____-"

I think im becoming delirious already.

Sighxx...

My only source of life now is my quiet time booklet... thats the only time i can find reassurance that im not alone n He is there for me.

Oh, of coz, n not forgettin the yfers.

All of you r so precious to me!!!

Im totally lookin forward to sunday now.

Sooo physically drained n mentally worn down already...

But good news is, becoz of all the stress n difficulties i face each day, i learn to put 100% of my trust in God, knowing that everything will work out at the end of the day. And you know what? It ALWAYZ does :)

Like on the first day of sch, i couldnt find my nametag, which is v.impt in my sch. I wuz worried sick, coz it's like first day of the yr, n i seriously dont wanna get scolded my tchr.

But He guided my day n i ended up purchasing a temporary nametag from my tchr (for 2 bucks) while i waited for my permenent one. BUT, i lost my temporary nametag this wk, n once again i trusted Him to make my day right.

He did, n no one realised i had no nametag on for the WHOLE day. and luckily, the next day, i found my temporary nametag (:

I know, it's like a v.simple thing, but i lose a lot of things, n God has alwayz helped me solved these little problems in life. And im v.grateful, even though it's nothing major.

There r several times when i had lack of sleep n suffered from pulsing headache the next day after sch. And when i reached home, i couldn't take a nap becoz i have piano lesson in an hr's time, so i had to practise n stuff.

I prayed for strength n eventually, im alwayz able to stumble through my activities without appearing too sianz n tired.

Oh well.

What can i say?

God is amazing =)

Right now, im praying that the maths department will give my grp the chance to organise a maths event for the lower sec students, then it can be counted as part of our project. If not, we'll have to do individual project works, like independent learning, which is very boring n sickening.

But i understand He has different plans for us, so if i ever have to do independent learning, i'll take it as a self challenge.

But honestly, i dont think i can take anymore stress :(

Also, im prayin for my upcoming piano performance at the music concert my piano tchr has organised. I still have a few more free tix to give out, so if anyone's interested, pls tell me asap kz?

It's this sunday, 22nd January, at Young Musicians Society (waterloo street). Time is 5.30.

Lastly, im praying for my grade 7 theory exam on march 11th. Hopefully i can manage my time well n study for it.

Wheww...

Feel better now, after spilling out my busy life.

Im not sure if anyone's leading this sort of hectic life, but if you are, jiayou kz? And you're not alone ^^)

tranquility ; 1/17/2006 03:22:00 pm.

16.1.06

yeahh really TIRED right this second... but it's not even eight... so i decided to update for the sake of SOMEONE :D

Well, yea, i've kindda gotten over the whole yf grp leader thing. figured that as long as i did my best, no one has the right to say anything, n i know He will be pleased with me :)

Hmm i know i had some reflections today, but cant really rmb now... ohh yarhh i rmb sth.

On the way to sch this morning, i boarded the bus at the same time as a MGS girl, i think she's 2 yrs or so younger than me. I saw her talkin to the driver, n i guessed she didnt have money or sth.

I wanted to stop n ask her, but somehow, i didn't. I found a seat n sat down. A second later, very coincidentally (or maybe God arranged), she turned n walked towards me.

"Do you have change for ten dollars?"

Oh, i don't think so. Sorry."

I FEEL LIKE KICKING MYSELF!!!

I mean.

Pls.

I could've helped her more right?

I REALLY didn't have change, but i could've at least like help her to ask other passengers right? It's tough for someone her age to be askin for money liddat. Gosh. Why wuz i such a moron?

I juz kept thinkin abt this, all the way to sch. And i still didnt feel any better.

*guilty*

So the msg here is: Alwayz be prepared to lend a helping hand.

It's a seemingly simple moral, but actually, it takes a lot of courage to do it. I think i was feelin waay too drowsy this morning, thats why wuz a bit blur n didnt respond her too well. But the incident also reminded me to alwayz be on the lookout for ppl who might need my help.

How many times have i come across this msg during my daily quiet times?? Yet when the time really came, i failed to be kind.

As good Christians, we shld alwayz be on red alert, ready to spring into Helping Mode whenever we see the tiniest chance.

Ok this is like my shortest entry ever (besides the Hot Chick one), but my brain is really on low function now, n i cant think... been feeling like this for this wk...

But dun wry, good frens of mine. Im not feelin stressed. Juz running low on energy.

Thank God for helping me through the dayz!

I hope things are goin well for everyone out there, n if anyone has any prayer requests, im willing to pray for you kz?

Oh that reminds me.

Last night i wuz juz suddenly v.motivated to pray for ppl. I actually got out a brand new notebk as my prayer book (coz i lost the prayer booklet :P), n i filled out 2 pages - one for me, another for someone else.

And im so eager to pray for more ppl!!!

So dont feel shy kz.

Unity is power!!

If we all pray together, beautiful things can happen ^.^

So have faith in the Lord in everything that you do, n even totally sucky dayz can be enjoyable (or at least bearable) =)

P.S REMEMBER YOUR FAMILY N FRIENDS!

tranquility ; 1/16/2006 07:13:00 pm.

15.1.06

Ok... today was first time i attempted to be grp leader during yf... it was pretty baaad. like a nightmare come true. i dont know if it's me or my members, but the whole thing was, like, dead. n i really tried to keep ppl talkin, but maybe there r too little ppl, or they're too tired.

-shrugs-

i really appreciate my daoshi, Haowen, addin in some stuff when no one has anything to say. it's a form of support n encouragement for me. thanks :)

but still, i guess i've got to work on my leadership skills. needda thinkof how to get them on high. hmmm, time to read How To Win Friends & Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. it has been collecting dust since my dad gave it to me last yr.

sighx...

never thought i'll have to pick it up now... i alwayz thought my social abilities is quite ok. well, seems not.

i wanted to talk to jamie or minnie abt this as soon as yf ended n we went down for cap.ball, coz that's so ME, but i controlled myself n let it go. i mean, i shld be hopeful right? and no one ever said being a grp leader was easy. n it's only the first day.

It's juz that, i wuz really psyched up abt this whole grp leader thing, until the actual time came... perhaps i shld try gettin closer to my members.

Oh well.

Enough for this topic.

We played cap.ball after that, n actually i didn't wanna play, coz my shoulders are aching after golf ytd, budden minnie said im grp leader, so shld play. i thought it made sense, so i played lorr.

The game wasnt as bad as during UB4, during which the discrimination against the shorter ones (i.e girls) was really quite bad. I actually had fun, n i saw how incredibly gd the guyz are. ppl like henry, jun'an, TY, zhixuan, mingyao etc etc.

Feel kindda sad have to leave the game early, but i wuz gettin tired anyway.

But yeah, back to the point. Good job, guyz, there's improvement on SPORTSMANSHIP. And im glad there's an effort made to involve the newcomers, like jamie n samuel.

Yayy. Im pleased with yf ^-^

Oh yarhh.

Im lookin forward to my trip to balai!!

It'll be such a cool learning n serving experience :D

Well, really tired now. wanna sleep le.

Bye!

tranquility ; 1/15/2006 02:12:00 pm.

14.1.06

Today was sec1 closing ceremony. n as a PSGL, i got the most exciting job of all ======================> selling fun fair tickets

I got news from my PSGL vice-chair (Ling Huan) last night that im down for duty today. at 6.45 AM. in school. to sell fun fair tickets. She said i was her last resort or something. And no wonder.

I mean, 6.45 AM?! in school??

It's even earlier than normal sch dayz.

See, thing is, NY will be organising this major fun fair which is supposed to raise money for charity (wad else), n upgrading of sch. i.e repainting n maintaining the whole building.

And the fun fair is supposed to be on 1st JULY!!

So, um, excuse me? Why exactly am i selling tickets at 6.45 AM on saturday, 14th JANUARY?!? the fun fair is a good 6 mths away, pls...

Ok, im really not complaining, juz stating some facts. But of coz, i do feel grouchy abt losing my sleep, but i wuz supposed to go for cca walkathon anyway, at 6.30am till dunno when, so i figured selling tix would probably be way more exciting.

Besides, it'll be included in my PSGL portfolio, n right now, seeing that im so enthu abt gettin that scholarship, i reckon havin at least SOME credits in my portfolio would be useful.

And anyway, the whole selling tickets thing ended at 7.45 am for me n my partner, coz we both have stuff to do later on. For me, it's golf lesson.

We learnt how to use the WOOD. seriously. that's wad that type of club is called. it's bulky n fat, but unexpectedly LIGHT. i actually played relatively well with it, better than the past few lessons anyway.

Hmm... didn't really have any big time inspiring thoughts today, but i felt thankful that He made my heart willing to sell those tickets even though it was way early in the morning.

I was feeling pretty sucky abt this last night, then i did my daily quiet time, n although the verse was not directly linked to my problem, the prayer focus was v.useful.

For a willing heart.

So i did.

I prayed that God will give me a willing heart, so that no matter how tiring or sickening my work is, i'll still find joy from it. And by being enthusiastic no matter how draining the situation is, i can inspire those around me and spread the joy ^-^

I guess this is wad they mean by glorifying God?

So anyway, i didn't really need to force myself to be smiley while selling those tickets, coz smiling came naturally when i approached ppl n He shortened my "suffering" when the tchr in charge allowed me to go home after an hr of selling.

So i went home and slept for 2.5 hrs :)

Praise the Lord!!

Through my quiet time last night, i also realised that when we meet ppl in need, we shld trust the Lord to guide us n have faith that He will help us meet their needs. They are often "assignments" given to us by Him.

But i think that's provided we can see ppl's needs, if u know wad i mean. Coz from wad i observe, even as young Christians in the yf, the level of care n concern for ppl is still not there.

I wuz juz talkin to someone from yf two dayz ago, n i mentioned this to him.

Are ppl juz not interested in the lives of others, or they're being polite n not kpo?

Coz for me, when i chat with ppl im not familiar with, it's natural for me to start prodding into their lives. It might get a bit irritating, but i set my boundaries right n i alwayz make sure i ask in a polite way, NOT pushy.

So wad abt the yfers?

I don't think i've said this, coz it'll reflect quite badly on the yfers, but since we're on this issue, might as well say it.

When i first joined yf, i don't rmb much ppl talkin to me, except minnie, emily, grace etc. These r the more outgoin ones, i take it. But point is, even after that, no one came to ask for my msn acc or hp no., so that they can follow up with me (except the ones i mentioned earlier).

And now that i think of it, not many came forth to talk to me when i added them on msn. Most of them juz did self intro n stuff, if i said nothing, they'll juz shut up n go offline quietly.

It's quite annoying sometimes, perhaps coz i cant accept the fact that ppl juz dont like to talk. I mean, how can they NOT like to talk? It's a natural gift from the Lord!

Im being a bit unreasonable here, coz i do understand that some ppl juz like to be left alone, but if they juz shrink away n disappear, how do we bond as brothers n sisters in Christ?

I still get a bit heated up when i think abt this, coz sometimes it really feels like im the only one tryin to gel everyone together, n most of them juz don't care.

Occassionally when i feel confident enough, i'll ask the yfers abt their lives, but most of them have nothing better to say. They either give a one word answer, or juz one sentence of reply.

So what can i do?

I take it that they dont wanna talk, so i back off.

That's how it work.

If i were to come up with an explanation for this, it'll be TIME. everyone's juz waay too busy. isn't that right guyz? But wad abt those who r constantly online?

Or izzit becoz im still considered a New Kid in ur eyes? So no one really wants to talk to me? Or, really, izzit coz u ppl have NOTHING to talk abt?

Ok, angry liaox....

RRRAWWR.

wadeva.

I guess not everyone can talk so much, n it really takes a little sth to make us click. So if we dont have that factor, it's harder to start talkin in depth.

I genuinely hope that amongst you, you're constantly updating each other n sharing probs. It's fine if u dun wanna share with me, coz i know sharing probs depends on the other party (whether u're comfortable with him/her), but at least find a few close frenz in yf.

This way, we'll be able to connect with one another pretty fast n the bond will be stronger, coz we wont be made up of shallow stuff, but real solid foundation for our friendship.

So here, i juz wanna appeal to all yfers to reach out to anyone you can think of. If you think you've got that factor with some of them, then good for you. If not, juz keep trying till you can at least form a small circle in yf.

This enables us to include those who feel slightly left out, n all these small circles (i won't call them "cliques") will be connected to one another becoz of some ppl who have a wider social circle, then we'll be joined into one BIG circle :D

Yeahhh right.

Get real, jenny.

I guess my idea of a perfect yf won't come true so easily, coz nothing's really perfect. And i think the current yf is already really good. Or maybe it's juz becoz of those few who r more enthusiastic n warm.

Oh well.

Anyway.

Juz a thought.

I don't think i've got anything else to update on this blog, n im afraid it has already offence some ppl? not sure, coz im not v.tactful sometimes.

See ya peeps on sunday!

And JIAYOU to all Four Sixers!!

~~~~~~**~~~~**~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~**~~~*~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~*~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~

tranquility ; 1/14/2006 06:46:00 pm.

13.1.06

WEEKENDS!!! \^0^/

gosh cant believe it.

survived another wk in sch.

haha it wasnt bad, juz a little draining. it's time for some serious TLC from the yf!!! whee~~ cant wait to see ya guyz :D

hope all of u had an ok time in sch, at least not too bad. but if it was, don't wry, coz it's only the start of yr n things will get better!

so anyway, im in a happy mood now, so don't really feel like talkin abt serious issues. let me juz crap.

ummm... hmm.... mmm...

-____-" cant think of anything to crap.......... ohh i know. i'll tell u peeps sth v.crappy that i said today in class... it's crappy until NOT funny k...

A joker went to the board n drew a v.simplified baby face, with only 3 strands of hair n chubby cheeks.

Cutsie chem tchr came in and asked is the baby a boy or girl, n i was sitting at the first row, so i said, 'You'll have to come back in 2 yrs time to find out, coz it's still a baby now, cannot tell girl or boy...'

Somebody juz slap me pls.

My table partner couldn't believe i said sth so lame. Coz im known to be vocally unable to crap n tell funny jokes. most of the times i juz laugh at myself.

Ha. Ha.

Fine. not funny. i get the point.

Hmm, wad else....

Oh yarhh..

Officially started dance PE module today, n we learnt the first eight beats. It was really rawkin for me, coz ever since i stopped dance at Ocean Butterflied, i've missed dancing, n when i heard the intro of the song (forgot its name), i juz couldnt help but grin n start swayin.

It's awesome to dance again!!

And even more fun to dance with my frens ^0^

Sighhx... wish one day can go back to Ocean Butterflies n continue with Jazzfunk(B).

HEI BANG!!! I MISS YOU GIRLZ!!

Wadeva it takes, i WILL return to that dance haven one day.

Hopefully next yr :P

Oh, cant think of anything to say now, except i've got golf lesson again tmr. gonna learn how to hit the ball with that FAT n HEAVY club (dunno wad type it is).

So, sayonara for now!

Chill, babies~!!

tranquility ; 1/13/2006 04:37:00 pm.

12.1.06

Hail Jesus, the one who died and rose again.

finally have some time off to blog le... so exhausted... im actually exhausted everyday after sch, but no worry, it's normal for me.

so anyway, the one time im free to blog, i have absolutely zilch to say. As in, stuff have happened over the past few dayz, but cant rmb anything significant now, except that excellent speech by a tchr during assembly, abt positive attitude. Cant rmb much of it, though, but i felt v.inpsired after listening to her :)

So basically now i wake up every morning n try to tell myself that it's gonna be a glorious day. And usually i dun think abt the bad things that MIGHT happen.n they usually don't ^ ^

Anyway, had a talk by this person, n he talked abt WWII, n all the sarcrifices our locals made (coz the sec4s r scheduled to visit Kranji War memorial, so this talk is to give us a background info of WWII).

He's a wonderful storyteller n it was gripping. Plus he had a v.cool accent. Like a british. *screams* I couldnt sleep even though it was near the end of the day already. Coz he told us stories of how the prisoners were tortured (accompanied by v.gruesome pics), n how cruel the japanese were.

Then when the japanses surrendered, the high ranking officers were tortured n killed almost like how they killed our ppl. It was what they deserved, many would say, but i didnt feel truimphant when i saw the picture of the japanses being tied to the pole.

I really felt upset.

This is what war brings.

Death upon two sides, regardless of right n wrong.

The japanese deserved to die, but to me, they also deserve a second chance. But who would give it to them? And did they give our ppl a second chance?

No.

No one took a step back, n both sides juz kept pushing it.

Heroes emerged out of the chaos, n i saw how our ppl united in times of difficulty, finally gaining independence n freedom.

It made me proud of my country, but the price paid by the world was heavy.

I'm also proud of the soldiers who volunteered to fight n die for Singapore, laying down their lives n refusing to leak out any names even when tortured.

But then guilt crept up to me.

Becoz the feelings i felt towards the dead soldiers, were actually stronger than those towards Jesus, who died for not only one country, but the entire human mankind, saving every single one of us.

Why izzit that i can feel touched by the actions of the dead soldiers, but so rarely give thanks to Jesus?

I have a theory.

It's because of the pictures.

I see the looks of intense pain on the tortured soliders' faces, n im thankful that they were willing to bear that pain for the country. I listen to stories abt war heroes, n i feel relieved that they ended the war for us.

But these are all physical factors.

Jesus did much more than that.

He did not stop war n pain, but He saved us from our sins. It is a spiritual salvation, n with it, we have peace n blessings.

Now, even in times of trouble, we can rely on Him forever, n have faith that He will guide us through the storms n lead us to safety.

Though we cannot see Him, n we can never hear firsthand account of His crucification, His Words n His Deeds are all written in the bible, true to the last page. And though many artists have painted the scene of Jesus on the Cross, we will never know how it was really like.

But if we sincerely believe n put our trust in Him, we can feel the pain He had gone through to die for us, and it is much more than any war hero had ever been through.

So here i say, the greatest war has been won, a war between God and Satan, and we are saved by the finest war hero of all times - Jesus.

However, we are still constantly surrounded by the devil's lies n deceptions, subjected to tempations n trials. But fear not! Remember Him, all ye ppl, and give thanks n pray in whatever you do, and peace will be with you.

Amen.

tranquility ; 1/12/2006 03:13:00 pm.

10.1.06

omg.
i juz watched the best movie channel 5 could ever broadcast.
It's so good, i have to dedicate one post to it.
It's called The Hot Chick.
No, it's not the one in which the 2 black men dressed up as women. It's abt a teenage girl who changes body with a man. It's sick n crazy, but incredibly beautiful.
It reflects how in a shallow n modern society, True Love can still exist, n despite all the popularity rankings n bitching around abt fashion n looks, there can still be genuine Friendship b/w girlz. And it also stresses on the importance of appreciating your life n Family.
It's a real touching movie.
So try if one day :)

tranquility ; 1/10/2006 11:12:00 pm.

Back from the looong 2 dayz exco meeting... mentally n physically drained right now... last night was exceptionally stressful becoz everyone was feelin sluggish already n we haven even done half of the list.

I saw how serious our seniors in yf can get, n i admit, it freaked me out a little. And at one point, discussion was so heated up n serious that i felt genuinely out of my depth.

Firstly, im not a meeting type of girl. I dont really like to get so serious, especially since yf is known for its wackiness, n i cant sit still for longer than an hour. So i've been sitting in that horrible, card, cold, ugly brown chair for... FOUR hrs straight.

Secondly, I dun mind discussions, but not to the point where it doesnt help the situation. And last night, that was exactly wad happened. Lots of unneccessary talks were dragged on and on. I really did try to see from everyone's point of view, but sometimes i juz cant.

And it's sad, coz i dont feel like talkin after that.

To top it all off with a cherry, the SYF daoshis were having their meeting concurrently, and i could hear them chucklin n singing merrily while playin the guitar. And i juz remembered the first exco meeting last sat, when everyone was havin such a good time.

Yet last night, the mood plunged a 180 degrees.

I guess i wasnt expecting all these from the older ones, coz i went for the meeting thinkin that everyone can get along sweetly n nicely like happy bunnies, n everything will work out smoothly.

It's a naive thought, n i was disappointed. But it's not anyone's fault. I'd juz forgotten that the older yfers r human beings too, n they each have their unique characters, so disagreements r natural.

I seriously felt under the attack of the devil, coz i could feel all these negative vibes from everyone. But thankfully, i won the battle with help from God.

The meeting worked out eventually, of coz, but that wasnt till 1 plus am. I didnt really mind, coz with the courage He gave me, i talked to yiuming abt how i felt, n felicia joined in after a while. Then jun'an was really nice n funny, crappin abt White Darlie, n they all made me feel much better, juz knowing that they're alwayz there for me.

It made me wonder abt my uni life too. Where will i be then? Dad is keen to send me to overseas, n i want to go and experience life in another country too, but that'll mean i only have THREE years left in yf.

I dont wanna think abt that now. It's too sad n depressing. I'll let God lead me.

For now, i wanna make full use of the chance He gave me, workin alongside all the daoshis in the exco n learning the ropes. It's a lot of fun n excitement, but there r downsides too. And they're more than a girl like me can handle.

BUT with support from my fellow yfers, im sure i can do it :)

So, im gonna strive for the best now and hopefully everything will run smoothly so dad won't find a reason to blame my committments for the lousy results.

Actually from last night's meeting, i learnt something else. That we're alwayz unsatisfied with the situation we are in.

When the meeting was goin on, i envied the SYFers to be able to get along v.well n have fun even when dealing with v.serious issues. I even wondered if it's coz they're more mature than us.

I know it sounds like the yf exco meeting was a total dump, but if not for the tense situation, i wouldnt get the chance to talk to the older ones afterwards n laugh at their crappiness.

We alwayz find fault with our own lives, complaining abt the stress n negative vibes. We look at other ppl's lives n we feel envious.

But we dont understand that we're all dealing with different things, juz like how to yfers n syfers were dealing with different age grps, that's why the process we go thru r different. But eventually, we'll all attain enlightenment n understand that everything has a cause.

Perhaps as we go through more trials n grow older, we'll take things more easily n learn to approach life in a more relaxed way.

Maybe that's why the syfers could be so efficient yet relaxed during their meeting, but ours was rather slow n draining. It's coz the syfers have experience n they can work together.

But anyway, im totally alright with this whole issue now ^ ^ I feel loads more confident abt the next meeting, n this time, i will NOT cry.

Shucks.

Feel dead embarrassed to let the older ones see me cry.

Oh weeell.

It's not the first time, n it wun be the last.

Here, i'll like to say thanks to Yiuming, Jun'an, Felicia, Yulan, Sixuan for your words last night. love ya!

And Henry, Yilun, Guowei, TY, Zhixuan, Haowen, Joanna for juz being there :)

Dear Yulan,

This is the letter of committment you have asked from me. For the year 2006, I am willing to committ myself fully to the following:

=>Studies (aiming for average A2 in everything i do)

=>Piano Grade 7 Theory Exam n Grade 8 Practical (at least pass for both)

=>Mentoring those under me (training them to become good mentors in future for newcomers)

=>Yf committee (Group Leader - Attempting to "gel" the members together n provide them a sense of belonging in yf)

May the Lord bless n guide me.

Amen.

tranquility ; 1/10/2006 01:39:00 pm.

8.1.06

Due to requests from someone to update my blog, i will do so now. But honestly, minnie!! You pressurise me with all that "your entries are so inspirational" etc etc. Bleaghz. Now i have to keep up with all that.

Haha i'll juz be myself n see how things go.

So anyway.

First of all, i went to the gym juz now, n there were 3 treadmills (those joggin machines?). yeahh. So i wuz joggin on the middle one, and the guy on my right was joggin super fast. He was more like running.

After like 15 minutes, another guy used the machine on my left, and he was more like SPRINTING. And im still like running at 6.5km/h? You know how pressurising that is? And they're both like at least 2 heads taller than me ;(

But as i jogged on, i realised that there's no way i can keep up with their speed and stamina, coz guyz are naturally physically more abled than girls. And i deicded that since i have a goal (2.4km), i might as well keep it steady and do it My Way.

What's the point of pushing myself n rushing it JUST to show im not a loser? I think that if i accomplish my goal, im already a winner, even if im slower.

And i managed to apply this concept to my schoool life.

Recently i have been bothered by my maths retest (i think i'll fail despite my frens n family's support), and i wonder if that really happens, does that mean im like really REALLY stupid? If i cant keep up with the standards of my peers, how can i get my Humans Scholarship or even pass the IP to graduate into HCI?

I even thought maybe im juz not good enough for NY. Perhaps i shouldnt have gone there in the first place.

But then after my joggin session today, i could see the whole situation in a different light. I dont think im stupid, n even stupid ppl, with the help of God, could do well.

I believe im doin poorly now not becoz im brainless, but becoz i pick up things relatively fast but CANNOT APPLY. That's why i dont do well in tests/exams. Coz NY tchrs r famous for twisting qns such that the main concept can barely be identified.

But it's there.

SO... i believe given some time, n gracious help from my Heavenly Father, i can achieve eventually. I juz know it will all work out in the end. It alwayz does.

But of coz, i cant take it for granted, muz still work hard on my part.

So what if ppl are doin better than me now? They're faster paced, that's all. As long as i have faith n i keep on tryin, im sure we'll reach the same level at the end of the day *beams* And when that happens, im sure my sense of satisfaction n achievement will be far greater than anyone else, coz i did it with the love of God, and through my trials, my trust in Him has deepened.

This reminds me of the reflection session we had during yf today. But first, for anyone eager to fill up the first box in their prayer booklet, you can write my name there n pray for me. It'll be a one yr thing, coz the main focus is my study, n i need the prayer n blessing from everyone ^ ^

Pray for me that i'll be self disciplined enough to alwayz rmb to finish my homework before i start slackin. Also that i'll be able to manage my time well n that i'll be able to sleep better at night, so i'll feel more energised n less sluggish in school (nine out of ten times, i have major headaches after sch, so i cant do any work, n it really puts a strain on my time management). Lastly, pray that during tests/exams, i'll be able to remain calm n not freak out (i usually dont, but well, sometimes i do), n can APPLY CONCEPTS successfully.

Hmm..

Oh dearr.

Sounds like it'll take a miracle.

Oh well.

Let's juz pray n see how it goes =)

So, back to the reflection session.

I felt that it wuz a really good chance to reflect n pray to God, repent n ask for forgiveness, as well as pray for His guidance n blessings for this yr.

Im not sure abt the rest of yf, but for me, this yr will be very challenging, becoz once i slip up in my studies, the first thing my parents will blame is the yf committee. And i really dont wanna think abt the consequences.

If anyone needs prayers too, drop me a msg at the taggie or talk to me on msn. Coz i wanna do sth to help too ^_^ It makes my feel better knowing that im workin hard alongside other ppl!

There are so much i feel like i have to say, but nothing seems to come to mind -___-" guess you shld know the feeling. But i can remember one thing now.

Yulan:

Here are the peeps i wish to mentor for this yr. Coz im close to them n have been so called "mentoring" them for some time already. i cant bear to let other ppl take them away *sob sob* my poor darlings... so im gonna "order" them first, can?

=>Sixuan

=>Minnie

=>Jamie

=>Alicia

=>Grace

Erm, basically all the girlz younger than me :P I know we're supposed to have only one or two, but im confident of handling so many, coz it's a natural thing for me already.

So, yeahh. If u can arrange them to be under me, that'll be really great =) Thanks!

This mentoring thing will be made known to everyone next wk during yf, i think. It wuz discussed during the meeting ytd n everyone can be mentors if they think they're up for the job. Im juz having a head start by choosing my peeps first ;)

Hmm, well, gtg rush for my china immersion report now.

Will blog soon!

GOD LOVES YOU <3

tranquility ; 1/08/2006 07:10:00 pm.

6.1.06

Since sch has started, i'll only probably be able to update this blog on a weekly basis. So here's my report on the first wk of yr'06:
There was a change in table formation in class yesterday, n due ot the change, some of us had to change table partners too. Which was fine with me, coz for me, i cant sit with someone for too long, one yr max. Long that that, i'll start noticing her bad points n after an extended period of time, i'll focus more n more on her bad points.
Which really puts a strain on our friendship. And it's completely NOT healthy. But still, it's juz sth abt me that cannot be changed. Im not sure if anyone's like me, but I cant get to know someone too well or get too close to him/her, lyk sitting with someone everyday for at least 7 hrs straight, for more than a yr.
Anyone understands wad im saying??
Im not unfriendly, seriously. I guess everyone needs a change of environment every now and then. Wouldnt you get tired if you sit with the same person for more than a yr? Im not saying my table partner is boring or anything.
Far from that, she's actually a v.interesting person. But i like to try sitting with different ppl, so i dont juz stick to one grp of frens.
And guess wad?
I got my wish :)
The new arrangement allowed me n my frens to sit in a group of seven, n all my buddies in class r all around me now!! Though im still sitting with the same person, the situation is improved by the fact that i've got another table partner on my left side now ^_^
She's really funny, hardworkin (you cant find her slackin for a minute in class!), n geniunely helpful. I was gonna take my maths retest this aftnn, so the whole day, whenever there was a break b/w lessons, she would urge me to revise n help me through the qns.
Thanks so much, Ding Jia!! However, i still have to say, i dont think i did well for the maths retest... but fear not!! I will keep on tryin n not waste your efforts ^^)
So anyway, im really happy in class now, coz where ever i turn, i can find a buddy to talk to.
Hmm... this reminds me...
I really take my hat off to my parents.
I've only faced one table partner for half a yr, n already im a little tired, but they have been with each other for nearly 20 yrs!!! And they're still so ever loving.
Many couples stay together till death, but the love is long gone. And some stay together only for the sake of the kidz.
I feel totally lucky to have parents who can tolerate each other n forgive one another becoz of sth called True Love.
But on the other hand, lookin at them, i wonder if i can be like them, stayin with my future other half forever. It's like a challenge for me!
I mean, juz look at how i feel towards my half yr table partner! Gosh. Wad if i get sick of my other half within a yr?!
This isnt really a fair conparison, is it? I dont think i shld compare like this, but honestly, i dont really think im up for anything like love yet.
Oh, yiu ming, if u're reading this, thanks again for the email, kz? You're totally right. Im not ready for a relationship yet. Im juz happy to have the yfers now =)
Ok, so i took my maths retest, and it was really BAAAD.
I was clear headed n could rmb all the formulas etc, but i juz cant seem to manage all the qns. I cant accept the excuse that NY is a very good sch, so it's ok if i do a little badly, coz compared to other students island wide, im still good.
That's crap.
It's precisely becoz NY is a very good sch, so i cant afford to fall behind my peers. If the standard in NY is high, i'll have to try n match up to it.
If not, how am i ever goin to get my Humans Scholarship in HCI?!?
YESS, ppl!
You heard that right.
Im aiming for the Humans Scholarship at the end of this yr.
Hmm not sure how it'll be given out, n dunno if i'll be good enough, but i'll juz do my very very very best ^ ^ it'll be soo cool to be able to major in sth like LITERATURE!!!
Yahooo!
I have a feeling im gonna love GP!!
So lookin forward to tmr's meeting with the daoshis n the other exco members! Also excited abt yf on sunday!
This week has been quite draining, partly coz im soo damn determined to do well this yr so im putting in a 100% effort for all i do, n partly becoz the project works n deadlines r coming in.
But now that maths retest is over, i can relax A LITTLE.
Yf is like my energy charger now. And He is my spiritual charger ^0^
See ya peeps on sunday then!!

tranquility ; 1/06/2006 10:15:00 pm.

3.1.06

how true is our friendship... what determines the depth of it...?

Dad juz said that my thinkin is too narrowed. Not detailed enough. I should take a step back, analyse the problem in general, and THINK DEEPER.
Haha.
As if im not stressed by my own "shallow thinking" already.
Bleaghz.
Seriously.
Coz i wuz discussing a prob with him, abt my frens, n he said that my prob is that i dunno how to reject ppl.
There r generally three ways:
Divert the prob (say something out of point n change topic).
Delay the prob (say sth like, "Aiya why talk abt this now? Let's have fun!" and do something else)
Laugh it off.
I never thought of it this way, n here i am, being bothered by someone who wants to do project work with me, but i wanna work with some other ppl.
It's all so simple suddenly.
Dad's right.
I shouldnt let other ppl's problems become my burden. Often, i worry too much abt the probs of others, so i dont dare to reject them when they approach me for help. As a result, i stress myself up unnecessarily.
This is so crappish.
I could've saved myself from all those white hairs.
Haha.
Life should be easy and light.
*nods*
Thanks dad, i get your point now ^_^
Oh, and minnie, thanks for listening to me blabble :) The broken communication b/w dad n me is solved!
Ok, done with this issue, on with the next...
Received the email from zhixuan today, regarding the exco meeting this sat.
And i confess, I FREAKED OUT.
I have zilch idea of wad he was talkin abt. I really dunno wad im supposed to do, or how to go abt doin it. I dunno wad to expect at the meeting, even though zhixuan gave a clear procedure of the whole thing.
Oh gosh.
Yfers, do you think you made a mistake by choosing me? Coz seriously, though i wanna serve n i feel i can take up any challenges, i feel OUT OF MY DEPTH.
Crap crap crap crap crap...
Ok, but calming down, i feel that I CAN DO IT!!
YESS!
With the support of my dear frens n family, im sure i can make it through the meeting *beams*
So look out ppl, coz there's a new kid in town!!
WOO HOO!!!!

tranquility ; 1/03/2006 07:25:00 pm.

2.1.06

it has ended... but let us see this as the beginning of something wonderful, and not the end of something enjoyable...

ok this is gonna be a really short n slack post. juz to update my dear frenz on my day.
Firstly, i juz wanna thank ALICIA n YOYO for being the first two to send me back my manuscript. (yoyo finished the script within HALF a day *shrieks*). And also a thank you to Pei Zhi and Jasmine, who made the effort to read it, despite their heavy homework load :) And thanks to everyone else who helped me!!
Anyway, last day of holidayz le, but surprisingly, im not depressed or sad or anything, even though i've still lyk, TONS of unfinished homework. Lyk, studyin for maths retest, china immersion report and commonwealth essay. But these r not urgent stuff, so yeah, im cool...
Im seriously lookin forward to school. No, really. I know i did quite badly for last yr, so im gonna work really hard this yr. If i've got any probs, i know i can count on my frens for support n help :D
Well, during golf lessons today, learnt putting n played in bunker (is that how i phrase it?). Anyway, putting is NOT easy. Gosh. Like, there's the set up, then the stroke, then the speed, then the straight line, then the aiming... Blah Blah Blah.
I almost gave up half way. Seriously. I really thought im not cut out for golf. But eventually i got the ball into the hole from a dist of... 5 metres? Yeahh. it wasnt eazy. bleaghz.
So then came home to shower, and went for bbq.
And i met a fellow NY girl!! She's called Yu Jing, from 3/3 last yr. Peizhi, you know her right? So anyway, we chatted for quite a long time n im glad she's there, coz the kidz r lyk super ROWDY n need some serious lessons on manners.
Well, im kindda tired now.
Cant think anymore.
GOOD NIGHT!!

tranquility ; 1/02/2006 10:10:00 pm.

1.1.06

thank you to those who believed in me... i will do my best and not disappoint you...

i still cant believe im in the exco now. it feels really weird. lyk, the change is too drastic. but i suppose there isnt really meant to be much change, except i've got responsibilities now.
maybe that's why i feel slightly troubled. Coz im not sure how much responsibility im supposed to take, n whether im up to it. As in, i dunno how im supposed to BEHAVE now. Does being in the exco mean i have to be a model Christian or sth? Know-all abt God n stuff?
Oh, im not regretting.
Seriously.
I still wanna do my part for yf. I juz haven figured out how.
:S
Maybe it takes time.
Michelle n yilun has already been in exco before, so im sure they're feelin, lyk, CHILL. Not sure if henry is feelin lyk me, though.
I need time to get my head around this.
Becoz honestly, i've never survived elections before. Oh, i've been nominated for posts in sch before, but i never get enough votes. So today wuz lyk a nightmare for me, while they counted the votes, coz it reminds me of the council election.
Sighz.
I wuz honestly shocked when zhixuan announced im in the committee!
I never expected it, coz despite everything sixuan said, n how much minnie believed in me, i juz didn't think the yfers would trust me enough to vote for me.
But - well - the results r out n it's over now.
I'll juz have to really do my best now.
Actually before the yf, i wuz readin the letter sixuan wrote to me, n she mentioned the Angel & Mortal game. It's a really neat game to get to know ppl better, n i suddenly wondered if it's possible to put this system in yf?
It's obvious there r ppl who r left out, especially the new comers, n im sure some of us have some deeply hidden probs which we really wanna share with ppl but cant seem to find the right person.
With an annoynomous angel, we would be able to help those who have probs n make new frens. It'll be strictly one to one n whether the angel chooses to disclose his/her identity is his/her choice.
But honestly, i dun think it's gonna work.
Coz knowing the guyz in yf, they'll probably turn this into some kindda joke n i dun think ppl will actually trust their angels enough to spill out their probs. And the angels might not take the mortals seriously either.
Oh well.
It was a thought.
But anyway, i wuz serious abt the bonds in yf. Sure, we go there n we have fun, but this makes our friendship quite shallow. As in, it doesnt go very deep, n we dun TRULY understand each other.
For me, i have minnie n sixuan, but i know there r some who dont really have an anchor in yf. Lyk, no real close frens? It's quite sad becoz i want yf to become a second home to everyone, juz lyk it is for me.
I hope to see it become a place of hope n love for everyone, n whenever they think of goin to yf on sunday, they'll think, "Oh good! I can ask XXX abt this prob of mine!" or "Yes! Time to forget my earthly worries n worship God with the yfers!" or "Excellent! Another time of bonding!"
To me, yf makes worshipping much for meaningful n fun, especially since i feel thankful n blessed whenever i look at my yf frens. But i alwayz rmb that there r those who dun really feel this way.
That's probably why they keep missing yf sessions.
I hoped that being in the committee is God's will for me, n i really hope he'll use me to close the gaps between the yfers, especially the current sec1s n the next batch who'll be joining us.
I think the older yfers r really our role models. They can be serious when worshipping, yet have fun in the real world, despite all the problems n frustrations.
This is the identity i was talkin abt.
Such that when i bring my sch frens or outside frens to yf, they'll go, "Wow! They're all like THAT."
It's lyk we're all different, yet similar at the same time. The positive attitude our seniors show towards life is an inspiration to us all. And i hope that us, being the younger ones, will take on this trait so that it'll shine through us n we can be a living testimony to God.
So anywa, im really thrilled to have the chance to work closely with the Dao Shis n michelle, henry n yilun.
Im hoping this yr, 2006, will show me more abt my purpose in being a Christian n what He means for me to do.
Amen.
Thanks once again, everyone!!

P.S Minnie and Sixuan, you have been incredible friends n i juz hope that this yr, no matter how frustrated i get or how sad i become due to earthly probs, you'll alwayz be with me. And vice versa!

P.P.S Those who are helping me proof read, erm, not to pressurise you, but school is startin soon, and im sure we all want to focus on our studies, so it'll be REALLY great if you can finish the proof reading by end of hol? It's ok if you haven't finish the whole thing. Juz stop whereva you are n email the script back to me by monday night. Thanks LOTS n LOTS ^_^

tranquility ; 1/01/2006 04:27:00 pm.