10.1.06
Back from the looong 2 dayz exco meeting... mentally n physically drained right now... last night was exceptionally stressful becoz everyone was feelin sluggish already n we haven even done half of the list.
I saw how serious our seniors in yf can get, n i admit, it freaked me out a little. And at one point, discussion was so heated up n serious that i felt genuinely out of my depth.
Firstly, im not a meeting type of girl. I dont really like to get so serious, especially since yf is known for its wackiness, n i cant sit still for longer than an hour. So i've been sitting in that horrible, card, cold, ugly brown chair for... FOUR hrs straight.
Secondly, I dun mind discussions, but not to the point where it doesnt help the situation. And last night, that was exactly wad happened. Lots of unneccessary talks were dragged on and on. I really did try to see from everyone's point of view, but sometimes i juz cant.
And it's sad, coz i dont feel like talkin after that.
To top it all off with a cherry, the SYF daoshis were having their meeting concurrently, and i could hear them chucklin n singing merrily while playin the guitar. And i juz remembered the first exco meeting last sat, when everyone was havin such a good time.
Yet last night, the mood plunged a 180 degrees.
I guess i wasnt expecting all these from the older ones, coz i went for the meeting thinkin that everyone can get along sweetly n nicely like happy bunnies, n everything will work out smoothly.
It's a naive thought, n i was disappointed. But it's not anyone's fault. I'd juz forgotten that the older yfers r human beings too, n they each have their unique characters, so disagreements r natural.
I seriously felt under the attack of the devil, coz i could feel all these negative vibes from everyone. But thankfully, i won the battle with help from God.
The meeting worked out eventually, of coz, but that wasnt till 1 plus am. I didnt really mind, coz with the courage He gave me, i talked to yiuming abt how i felt, n felicia joined in after a while. Then jun'an was really nice n funny, crappin abt White Darlie, n they all made me feel much better, juz knowing that they're alwayz there for me.
It made me wonder abt my uni life too. Where will i be then? Dad is keen to send me to overseas, n i want to go and experience life in another country too, but that'll mean i only have THREE years left in yf.
I dont wanna think abt that now. It's too sad n depressing. I'll let God lead me.
For now, i wanna make full use of the chance He gave me, workin alongside all the daoshis in the exco n learning the ropes. It's a lot of fun n excitement, but there r downsides too. And they're more than a girl like me can handle.
BUT with support from my fellow yfers, im sure i can do it :)
So, im gonna strive for the best now and hopefully everything will run smoothly so dad won't find a reason to blame my committments for the lousy results.
Actually from last night's meeting, i learnt something else. That we're alwayz unsatisfied with the situation we are in.
When the meeting was goin on, i envied the SYFers to be able to get along v.well n have fun even when dealing with v.serious issues. I even wondered if it's coz they're more mature than us.
I know it sounds like the yf exco meeting was a total dump, but if not for the tense situation, i wouldnt get the chance to talk to the older ones afterwards n laugh at their crappiness.
We alwayz find fault with our own lives, complaining abt the stress n negative vibes. We look at other ppl's lives n we feel envious.
But we dont understand that we're all dealing with different things, juz like how to yfers n syfers were dealing with different age grps, that's why the process we go thru r different. But eventually, we'll all attain enlightenment n understand that everything has a cause.
Perhaps as we go through more trials n grow older, we'll take things more easily n learn to approach life in a more relaxed way.
Maybe that's why the syfers could be so efficient yet relaxed during their meeting, but ours was rather slow n draining. It's coz the syfers have experience n they can work together.
But anyway, im totally alright with this whole issue now ^ ^ I feel loads more confident abt the next meeting, n this time, i will NOT cry.
Shucks.
Feel dead embarrassed to let the older ones see me cry.
Oh weeell.
It's not the first time, n it wun be the last.
Here, i'll like to say thanks to Yiuming, Jun'an, Felicia, Yulan, Sixuan for your words last night. love ya!
And Henry, Yilun, Guowei, TY, Zhixuan, Haowen, Joanna for juz being there :)
Dear Yulan,
This is the letter of committment you have asked from me. For the year 2006, I am willing to committ myself fully to the following:
=>Studies (aiming for average A2 in everything i do)
=>Piano Grade 7 Theory Exam n Grade 8 Practical (at least pass for both)
=>Mentoring those under me (training them to become good mentors in future for newcomers)
=>Yf committee (Group Leader - Attempting to "gel" the members together n provide them a sense of belonging in yf)
May the Lord bless n guide me.
Amen.
tranquility ; 1/10/2006 01:39:00 pm.
