8.1.06
Due to requests from someone to update my blog, i will do so now. But honestly, minnie!! You pressurise me with all that "your entries are so inspirational" etc etc. Bleaghz. Now i have to keep up with all that.Haha i'll juz be myself n see how things go.
So anyway.
First of all, i went to the gym juz now, n there were 3 treadmills (those joggin machines?). yeahh. So i wuz joggin on the middle one, and the guy on my right was joggin super fast. He was more like running.
After like 15 minutes, another guy used the machine on my left, and he was more like SPRINTING. And im still like running at 6.5km/h? You know how pressurising that is? And they're both like at least 2 heads taller than me ;(
But as i jogged on, i realised that there's no way i can keep up with their speed and stamina, coz guyz are naturally physically more abled than girls. And i deicded that since i have a goal (2.4km), i might as well keep it steady and do it My Way.
What's the point of pushing myself n rushing it JUST to show im not a loser? I think that if i accomplish my goal, im already a winner, even if im slower.
And i managed to apply this concept to my schoool life.
Recently i have been bothered by my maths retest (i think i'll fail despite my frens n family's support), and i wonder if that really happens, does that mean im like really REALLY stupid? If i cant keep up with the standards of my peers, how can i get my Humans Scholarship or even pass the IP to graduate into HCI?
I even thought maybe im juz not good enough for NY. Perhaps i shouldnt have gone there in the first place.
But then after my joggin session today, i could see the whole situation in a different light. I dont think im stupid, n even stupid ppl, with the help of God, could do well.
I believe im doin poorly now not becoz im brainless, but becoz i pick up things relatively fast but CANNOT APPLY. That's why i dont do well in tests/exams. Coz NY tchrs r famous for twisting qns such that the main concept can barely be identified.
But it's there.
SO... i believe given some time, n gracious help from my Heavenly Father, i can achieve eventually. I juz know it will all work out in the end. It alwayz does.
But of coz, i cant take it for granted, muz still work hard on my part.
So what if ppl are doin better than me now? They're faster paced, that's all. As long as i have faith n i keep on tryin, im sure we'll reach the same level at the end of the day *beams* And when that happens, im sure my sense of satisfaction n achievement will be far greater than anyone else, coz i did it with the love of God, and through my trials, my trust in Him has deepened.
This reminds me of the reflection session we had during yf today. But first, for anyone eager to fill up the first box in their prayer booklet, you can write my name there n pray for me. It'll be a one yr thing, coz the main focus is my study, n i need the prayer n blessing from everyone ^ ^
Pray for me that i'll be self disciplined enough to alwayz rmb to finish my homework before i start slackin. Also that i'll be able to manage my time well n that i'll be able to sleep better at night, so i'll feel more energised n less sluggish in school (nine out of ten times, i have major headaches after sch, so i cant do any work, n it really puts a strain on my time management). Lastly, pray that during tests/exams, i'll be able to remain calm n not freak out (i usually dont, but well, sometimes i do), n can APPLY CONCEPTS successfully.
Hmm..
Oh dearr.
Sounds like it'll take a miracle.
Oh well.
Let's juz pray n see how it goes =)
So, back to the reflection session.
I felt that it wuz a really good chance to reflect n pray to God, repent n ask for forgiveness, as well as pray for His guidance n blessings for this yr.
Im not sure abt the rest of yf, but for me, this yr will be very challenging, becoz once i slip up in my studies, the first thing my parents will blame is the yf committee. And i really dont wanna think abt the consequences.
If anyone needs prayers too, drop me a msg at the taggie or talk to me on msn. Coz i wanna do sth to help too ^_^ It makes my feel better knowing that im workin hard alongside other ppl!
There are so much i feel like i have to say, but nothing seems to come to mind -___-" guess you shld know the feeling. But i can remember one thing now.
Yulan:
Here are the peeps i wish to mentor for this yr. Coz im close to them n have been so called "mentoring" them for some time already. i cant bear to let other ppl take them away *sob sob* my poor darlings... so im gonna "order" them first, can?
=>Sixuan
=>Minnie
=>Jamie
=>Alicia
=>Grace
Erm, basically all the girlz younger than me :P I know we're supposed to have only one or two, but im confident of handling so many, coz it's a natural thing for me already.
So, yeahh. If u can arrange them to be under me, that'll be really great =) Thanks!
This mentoring thing will be made known to everyone next wk during yf, i think. It wuz discussed during the meeting ytd n everyone can be mentors if they think they're up for the job. Im juz having a head start by choosing my peeps first ;)
Hmm, well, gtg rush for my china immersion report now.
Will blog soon!
GOD LOVES YOU <3
tranquility ; 1/08/2006 07:10:00 pm.
