8.6.06
ohh this is the most fab show EVER! *swoons* plsplspls. for those who are super free now in the june holidays, catch this show on channel U, every wkday, 7-8pm. if you love an unusual plot with beautiful setting and romantic characters, this is the show to watch!!
i cant comment much on the technical part, but it's basically abt music and a promise and a lie from a girl's childhood (the girl in the pic). and it's such an agonising yet beautiful story, if you can overlook all the minor irritating parts which i shan't comment here ;)
so anyway. im really happy abt one thing: i realise im becoming a more secure person. or perhaps more confident. i dont know. i just feel better abt who i am. like, for instance, i used to hate my christian name. seriously. i thought it was plain and common. like, puh-lease. JENNY. bleh. but now. omg. im not sayin im narcisstic and in love with myself or wadeva. im just startin to accept myself the way i look, talk, behave, think, and even starting to overlook the faults of others. am i
starting to be more christ-like? is this the doing of God? im quite sure it is. coz i've prayed abt becoming more sure abt myself and becoming more christ-like ever since... ever since i knew there was such a thing as "becoming more christ-like".
so anyway. i know probably a lot of ppl think im very confident before. but actually, that wasn't confidence. it was just bossiness with a loud voice. i figured out after many mths of observations and reflecting that ppl who usually talk and laugh super loud, talkin abt random stuffs and seem so bouncy and cheerful abt life
all the time, are the ones who really lack self confidence and inner security. they laugh off the bad things in life, they talk loudly and drown themselves in their social lives. it's their way of escaping reality, to escape the confrontation of their conscience, their "inner voice". these ppl cant bear to be by themselves, coz they dont want to think abt too many things, they're afraid. they cant sleep at night in total silence, without music. so point is, i was almost like that in the past. i call it "confidence on the surface", not true inner confidence.
a truly confident person will not showcase her confidence 24/7. she will cry sometimes, break down, and complain abt life. in other words, she will appear weak at times. but impt thing, she is able to pick herself up and continue with life. that's true confidence.
ok im done with that topic. in a nutshell, im just starting to know myself(:
another thing i realised: i seem to have a very naive and perfect idea of love. probably from all that reading and watching. you know, there was a time last yr that it seems as though having a bf is the in-thing. i was kindda depressed at that time, coz of the stupid thinkin that im probably never gd enough for anyone. but this yr, i started to think in a different way. i start to think that God has already arranged someone for me, whom i will meet in the future, but not right now. i dont give two hoots abt those showy guys down orchard, or those ego male-bimbos across my sch. becoz there will be someone for me.
im not sure if this thinkin is stupid. becoz there's no such thing as a perfect romance. but i just know, deep down inside, i will be different from those who kiss and hug around then breakup, and those who divorce soon after gettin married.
deep deep deep down inside, i know im going to be happy in future. is this what they call faith in God? perhaps. all i know is, im currently incredibly happy with my life.
so what if im a daddy's girl, spoilt and afraid of venturing into the future on my own? i dont care if ppl say i dont have a mind of my own, always listening to daddy and mummy. i dont care if they think im stupid and naive enough to be cheated. all i know is, i have been blessed by the Lord in every way, with a happy family, good friends (though not many), and a secure (though still foggy) future. this are the promises of Him in my life, and your life too, if you believe in Him.
everyone has his or her own fears. for me, my biggest fear is being left alone to fan for myself. to face the future by myself. the day will come, i know, but with the Lord by my side, everything will be ok. and besides, there's that special someone out there for me, and he'll take care of me if i ever have to live without my family in some foreign place.
that's a very innocent thought, isn't it?
but i like it.
tranquility ; 6/08/2006 09:44:00 pm.
ohh this is the most fab show EVER! *swoons* plsplspls. for those who are super free now in the june holidays, catch this show on channel U, every wkday, 7-8pm. if you love an unusual plot with beautiful setting and romantic characters, this is the show to watch!!
