11.7.06
definitely feeling better today, probably because i didn't really get any quiet time for myself. first it was chem quiz in the morning, then CME presentation in the aftnn (which, btw, was another horrible story abt me and a lousy tchr who picked at the presentation so awfully a hell lot that i was beginning to think she had sth against me. and all of us actually stayed up late to complete a completely trivial presentation like CME), then later after going home from cca i'll need to study for maths quiz tmr.
fun thing to look forward is, tmr after sch me and frens will be watching pirates of carribean. so cool. on the first day of showing too!*grins*ok yea so anyway, i'll elaborate a little more abt the lousy tchr.
firstly, let me explain she is a
knowledgable tchr, and she's really
serious abt teaching. she puts in alot of
effort to prepare for each lesson and she takes her job seriously. she wants to make sure every student understands and pays attention every class. which is good, really. but as a character, she has a lot to learn.
if you trace my entries to the start of the yr, you'll notice that i've been overseas an awful lot of times this yr, which is uncommon, i know. but this yr is an exception. it truly is. what this tchr doesnt understand is that it's not MY idea, ok? it's my parents. i tried to escape the trip to bali, i also tried to stay for sabbatical, but they said it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to go bali, and i only visit china once in 4 yrs. so i have reason to say no right? besides, my entire family tree is in china, i HAVE TO go back this yr, if not there wont be another chance, seeing A'levels is coming up next.
so my point is, it's really NOT as if i psycho-ed my parents into takin me overseas; and it's also NOT as if i was tryin to escape sabbaticals by goin overseas. i love sabbaticals, i honestly do. i think they provide me with opportunities to learn and get exposed to different things in life. but the tchr doesnt understand.
today during special interest lecture, the vice principal went up onto the platform to address the sec4 IP students, and when she rounded up her speech, she said, "I hope everyone takes this sabbatical seriously, i have been told by one tchr that a student has been makin all sorts of excuses to run to china just to escape sabbaticals...
blah blah blah."
i dont have an attitude problem, i just dont like it when tchrs think they can lord over us because we're alot younger than them and they are apparently our Teachers. like wow. i respect ppl who deserve and earn my respect rightfully, not by demand. i respect my seniors in sch and church because they have vast experiences and knowledge that i dont. i respect tchrs because they are patient and passionate abt their work AND STUDENTS.
i certainly DO NOT respect a tchr who looks down on a student because her chinese grade is one of the lowest in class. and i also DO NOT respect a tchr who interprets a student's actions WRONGLY and tells the vice principal stupid fat lies which concern things that are absolutely none of her business.
pls. my parents WROTE A LETTER to the principal askin for approval ok. if the PRINCIPAL had anything to say abt it, she would've talked to me personally or rejected the request for leave. but she APPROVED, thank you very much. honestly, for someone who is a workin adult with highly educated mind and a child of her own, this tchr really isnt very wise or mature in handling social affairs.
i know you may think im jumpin to conclusion, but telling the vice principal sth like that is what this tchr of mine is likely to commit. and even my classmates realised the coincidences. one even came to ask me, "hey, the vice principal was talkin abt you right?"
it's - not - my - fault, ok!! why does she hate me so much? i think she thinks i've got serious AP, but i dont care. not for a tchr like that anyway. i dont change for ppl who only think for themselves.
wait, before you think im not mature enough to think open mindedly, let me just tell you that i've tried to keep a neutral mind when she's around, and i've given her alot of chances to prove she's a brilliant tchr AND character. and i admit there was a period of time i even started acting sweet and obedient around her just to make her not hate me, and things improved slightly. but then it was short term, and i want to be myself. so i gave up.
im not makin judgements abt her. im not fit to. because only God can judge. as a christian herself, she shld understand, but she doesnt. she judges me, and everyone else in class. i really dont know what to say abt her anymore. this shall me the one and only entry dedicated to her. and after i end this, i'll bury all hard feelings in my heart and never raise the issue of this form tchr of mine again.
it's not like me to keep ranting on abt someone or an event. i talk abt it once and i forget it. or at least i try to. it's so sad if i have to bottle up all the negative vibes. so yea. im sry if i sounded like an irrational, childish, stupid 7 yr old girl in this entry, but i really had to let it out.
anyway i think it doesnt matter, because everyone seems really busy nowadays, so i dont think anyone's reading this. which is fine with me, coz my recent few entries seem to be kindda personal.
to my form tchr:i really think u can be a very successful tchr if you'll just take your eyes off those few talented students in your class, and focus on the others for a change. give others a chance too, because there are many who believe in themselves and want a chance to prove themselves. but you have silenced them, and i pray it doesnt cost you anything more than a few enemies made in your life.
but i also want to thank you for your disbelief in all of us, because it has made me want to do my best and prove you wrong. is this ur intention? to provoke us enough to make us work hard? if it is, congrats, your ingenious plan is workin for me. i will prove you wrong, or all ppl. i don't usually waste time and effort on someone who doesnt believe in me, but you're different. for you, im willing to give it my all in life and show you that i dont have to please you to please God, because i have never met anyone who has so little trust and confidence in me that im starting to wonder if im any good at all.
i believe i have got what it takes to be that someone i want to be, or rather, what He wants me to be. i believe He has great plans for me, and even if you dont think i'll come to any good, He will lead me to my victory. thank you for encouraging me in life so indirectly, however ironic it may seem. and i just want to tell you...
just wait and see.
all the best, and God bless.
love,
jenny
your student forever.
tranquility ; 7/11/2006 03:26:00 pm.
