13.8.06
this entry is dedicated to a dear friend in america,who is having a rough time and needs the support and encouragement of her friends here.a few days ago,i watched Sweet Home Alabama,a meaningful movie abt a country girl who became someone big in america.it was a lovely movie that spoke to me abt the meaning of home and one's identity.
today,interestingly,i realised my friend in america is finding it hard to soar with her parents' irrational worries and constant binding.and she credited this to them being asians and are conservative and worrisome ppl by nature.
this i dont deny,for we chinese have been brought up as ppl who worry and think too much.that's why we dont dare to take risks.that's why we are so superstitious.
and after knowing what's happening to her,i rmbed sth one of the characters in the movie said:
you cant have both wings and roots.theoratically,this seems completely true.
how can one hope to soar high above and experience new things if her feet are planted firmly to the grounds?
but i beg to differ.
it
is possible to fly and at the same time retain one's culture and love for one's home.
the skies above promise new horizons and beautiful things.it is a place that tempts us young ppl to explore and leave our comfort zone.it is a place where we will find treasures we never knew existed and meet others who bring new knowledge to us.
but the grounds below our feet are what keep us steady and assure us of a landing space whenever we feel tired.it's where we will always find ppl of our kind,who will understand our actions and what we're thinking,no matter how different we become after our flight in the skies.
it's impt that we dont forget our origins,and there is no shame in being chinese,american,indian,malay etc.
we are who we are,as cliche as it may sound.
our culture and home is what makes us,
us.
it's our identity.
it's embarrassing for someone to be embarrassed abt her race or religion.for someone who tries to act like another who is meant to be a completely different person.
it's kindda like a black jaguar pretending to be a leopard and claiming he has spots,even though in the eyes of others,he will always be spotless.
(in case some of you dont know,the leopard and black jaguar belong to the same family and the black jaguar is just a mutated version of the leopard.)
do you see how embarrassing and humiliating it is for the black jaguar?to act like another even though they are meant to be different.
how others will laugh at this black jaguar!
i think im commenting on the asians in western countries who try so hard to fit in that they force themselves to pretend they are not chinese.
im
not talking abt my friend,in case you're wondering.
when we cant stand our parents who appear too chinese in their ways of doing things,it's probably because they are showing love in a way we dont understand.
communication runs both ways,so does love.and so many ppl have said this that i feel i cant emphasise any more on the importance of this.
communication,i mean.
but it's hard,i know,to start communicating if you have led seperate lives for the past 16yrs.perhaps it would help to recall on some fond memories you used to share.
like family gatherings,however insignificant it may seem.or heart to heart talking sessions with your mum abt the guy you had a silly crush on.or even the shopping trips together.
memories are what hold us together,friends and family,in the present.and the present is what will build up our future.
if you are finding it hard to tolerate your family in the present,what's going to happen in the future?and is the past all wasted and forgotten?
i know this entry is probably not very coherent.but i just found the urge to blog abt this.
roots and wings.
i think it's an interesting topic and worth a thought.
i cant say more here,even though i'd like to,because jamie is apparently desperate to use this laptop in 5mins time.
so,to my dear friend in america,im not sure how much this entry has helped you,but just know i completely understand what you're going through.
and one day,you will find enough love in your heart to overcome your problems with your parents now.
and im not saying they are wrong,or you are wrong,all im saying is that there is no definite solution to this,and you can only pray that something will happen that will change the current situation you are in.
i dont understand your parents well enough to comment further,but i do understand you well enough.
and you are a strong girl.mentally i mean >.<
so dont give up no matter what.
strive hard for what you want,and dont let nitty gritty things bother you.
all the best for everything in your life!
smile(:
tranquility ; 8/13/2006 07:56:00 pm.
