on the stairway to heaven ;

29.9.06

since there were so many complaints abt the taggie on the other skin,i decided to change and use one of my own designs(:

2 more days to exam..really feeling the pressure now.but it's fine.im cool.i know i'll just chiong through everything and then i'll be able to catch up with my friends again.

tranquility ; 9/29/2006 07:08:00 pm.

24.9.06

i guess almost everyone knows i'll be migrating to NZ in nov.except some yfers.havent announced yet.but anyway,i announced it to 406 on friday.i didnt have that long touching speech i planned on havin,coz it was all impromtu decision,and it was over in a min,but during that min,i saw some ppl's faces,and i nearly cried.

hmm.really feel quite down.becoz even though i know i'll miss my frens,and some ppl like minnie,jiebin and lynn dont want me to leave,but deep down inside,i yearn to see the outside world.it's not that i havent travelled before,i have,but i wish to live abroad to experience a different life.

i've always been adventurous since young,and i guess it's part of my nature.and after living in s'pore for 16yrs,i've started to see the crappy side of it.that's the prob with living in one place too long.you either love it totally,or just feel like leaving asap.OR.you could just get used to life here and accept it to be the way it is,satisfied to spend your life here.

nth wrong with that of course,but im not that sort.so,to all my friends,i'll really miss everyone,even those i dont really talk to,becoz every single one of you made up my 16yrs of memories here,and im thankful to God for bringing you into my life.

KISSES!

loveya ppl(:

*a more detailed entry coming up after exams!*

tranquility ; 9/24/2006 10:19:00 pm.

15.9.06

wake up.school.revision revision and more revision.sch end.go home.sleep(maybe).wake up.shower.check revision schedule.take out subject exam practise papers and notes.sart doing and marking.dinner.do corrections.jot down mistakes.watch abit of telly.msn.move on to the next day.

the hectic yet fruitful life of a sec4 IP nanyang MUGGER.

tranquility ; 9/15/2006 11:24:00 pm.

12.9.06

evelyn from class 4/9 spoke to us sec4 IP students today during special interest lecture.her presentation was abt genocide,mainly in sudan,darfur.

i didn't know anything abt genocide until today,and i must say,it hurts alot.evelyn said that many ppl dont take actions and stands against genocide,and silence means consent,so by remaining silent,we're actually agreeing to genocide takin place in places like sudan.

i agree that the world today is pretty screwed(sry i have to use this word so bluntly),in our hearts and minds.it's just so easy to dismiss all the bad things happening around us.ppl watch the news abt bombings and killings,they go "oh that's sad" and continue eating their dinners.

but honestly,i don't think we've lost all our humanity.some ppl might actually want to care,and they truly feel for these victims,but it's precisely because it hurts so much and so horrible,we don't know HOW to care.and we don't have the courage to do so.

it's just so much easier to know these happenings in our hearts and do nothing,because they all seem so distant from us.we tell God how bad the world is now,we pray for the ppl suffereing,but to really take part in helping them is sth not many can achieve.

when i listened to evelyn's presentation,i was so so so tempted to just forget it after i step out of the auditorium,not because i dont have a heart,but because it's so depressing that i can hardly believe it's really happening in this world.and i've only seen the pictures.imagine seeing the real thing happening if u go to africa.

it's so depressing that i feel tired just thinkin abt it.such things happen all the time,so often,in fact,that we've become numb to it.we let those victims handle the situation themselves,because we want to continue to live in our own blissful and protected world,where no one gets starved,raped and murdered for no good reason.

i don't know how many of you reading this get my point,but im just sayin im one of the many in this world who is tempted to just let it go and dismiss it as "another sad thing in this world".but sth told me not to.i don't want to pretend the world is beautiful anymore.

maybe it was my quiet time ytd.i was reminded to show concern for those who need it,to stand up for justice when i see injustice.

no one deserves to be treated like that.not jews,not blacks,and certainly not those villagers in darfur.

im not sure what action im going to take,but like evelyn said,merely bloggin abt this issue of genocide and telling my frens abt it is takin a stand and action already,no matter how small it may seem.

so to those who know nth abt the ppl in darfur,takin refuge in chad because their homes are being burned and ppl being murdered brutally right this minute,i'm here to say...it's real,and it's happening.

the women go back to darfur every now and then to gather food because the living conditions in the borders of chad is harsh.the men cant go back because they are shot immediately if spotted,but women are merely raped,so at least they survive and return to their families with food.

that's life for these ppl.they choose life over the sacred virginity of women because they have been forced to do so by reality,by genocide.

i don't know how i can let you know the suffering of these ppl through a single entry,but just know that genocide is causing many innocent ppl to lose their loved ones and habitat.

they believe in God,and they pray to Him,despite everything that is happening to them.let us pray for these ppl:

Dear Father in Heaven,
Hallowed is Your Name,
Let Your Kingdom Come,
and may Your Will be done among the ppl in Darfur,
as it is done in Heaven.
Give them today their daily Bread,
Forgive them their sins,
as they forgive those who sin against them.
Do not bring them to the Test,
but deliver them from Evil.
Amen.

tranquility ; 9/12/2006 06:54:00 pm.

10.9.06

last night of the sept hols.feeling kindda sluggish YET recharged.yes irony is in the house! -.-" yea wadeva..

i rmb last yr's eoy.i scraped past everything miraculously,and im sure i'll do alot better this yr,especially since my faith in Him has grown alot over the yr,and now i have good friends to help me in my studies :D

was thinkin abt all the changes in my life,and i realised God has made my life full of them,changes i mean.and each time there's a change,i come to know Him better and my life improves in all aspects.so maybe the next upcoming change wont be so bad afterall(:

"it's only when u're leaving that u realise u've never really stayed" -jenny.

tranquility ; 9/10/2006 10:20:00 pm.

8.9.06

yes finally something to de-stress(: thanks minnie.this is for you,and all my friends out there!

p.s the ppl i think of are those that happened to be talkin to me on msn and i happened to think of first >.<
---------------
Name 11 people you can think of right now in your head.*three of which must be the opposite sex*After that tag at least 5 people to do this.
1. lynn
2. sinyee
3. dingjia
4. minnie
5. sixuan
6. haowen
7. audrey
8. zhixuan
9. danxun
10. junan
11. henry
----------

1.How did you meet 10? church.umm..i think it's unfair to mention him again,coz i wrote abt ja in another similar quiz.anyway,yea,in church,and only because of his hair.

2. What would you do if you never met 2? hmm...i wouldnt DO anything..just that..she's,well,a complicated girl,and you can choose to like or dislike her.i learnt alot from her,and she's a very good mirror of myself.so...yea,im glad to know her(:

3.What would you do if 9 and 11 dated? i would ask...HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER??!!haha coz,like,they are two very different ppl from two very different parts of my life.but yea,i wont mind them together^-^

4. Do you like 7? audrey?she's a girl...and she's FUNNY(:haha yup love this ~~counsellor~~ councillor here.always pretending to be the outcast,goin around askin ppl if they are her FRIEND,then others say CASPER is her only friend -.-" she's the only ~~counsellor~~ councillor in my class,and she declared herself the "406 Beauty".ah well.

5. Would 5 and 6 make a good couple?
omg.ok u know what.these kind of quizzes are freakin me out.how the hell do they know 5 and 6 are opposite genders??yea anyway,sixuan and haowen are most likely to be brother and sister.definitely not the other kind.and i have a problem with the age gap -.-"

6. Describe 3
ahh yes.dingjia:D my TP and third best friend!!haha sry u're lost.TP=table partner.coz we sit together in class and are lab partners,as in,index no.1 and 2.and third best friend becoz we have this little insider's joke.

i never bring water bottle to sch,and shes the one who ALWAYS brings waterbottle filled with water.so i frequently visit the watercooler,who eventually became my first best friend.and then i was introduced to youtube by dingjia, and we both loved it.especially HARD GAY.haha.this weird comical jap guy who does alien stuffs.but yea,we both love him.so youtube.com became my second best friend.and so,dingjia became my third best friend ^0^

but no worries,im starting to bring waterbottle,so she's moving up one rank(: (i swear this quiz is,like,psychic or sth..it KNOWS im sorta like class bestie with no.3!!)

7. Do you think 8 is attractive?
hmm..sort of,in a smart boy-next-door brother kindda way(:he's not the sort who is totally hot among the girlies,but the more mature ones will appreciate him.

8. Tell me something about 9
oooh OMG DANNY(((:she's cool.seriously.ok wait.so much to say,so little SPACE.yea ok,to tell you SOMETHING abt her is impossible.she's so great.umm.lets just say my lower sec days were happy because of her!she's just such a nutcase sometimes,really funny and confident,and she's the one who made me "grow up" and see the,um,human side of life,if you get what im sayin..

she's in america now,and i know she's reading this (hi dd!!^0^) and i just wanna let her know,i wish i had done more before she's left.i just kindda expected her to get used to life there becoz she's always been the strong one.and now im startin to understand how it feels like,leaving everyone behind and the life she knew..but anyway,in short,she's a babe(:

(i SWEAR this quiz is psychic!!)

9. Do you know any of 4's family?
minnie.yes,i've met all of them when i went there for an impromptu sleepover (another story),and they're really great ppl.oh,and 8 is her brother.she's got an older sister too,michelle,and she's really smart and sporty.

10. Whats 5's favourite things?
things?uhh...her handphone,LARGE shoes...friends and family?if you can consider those as "things"...

11. What would you do if 10 confesses he likes you?
junan?NOT POSSIBLE.heh heh.coz like the entire world knows he'll only confess to ONE person in his whole life.and we've got a pretty good idea who that'll be :P

12. What language does 6 speak?
Cheemglish a.k.a daoshi language.can u understand that?lemme break it down for ya...CHEEM ENGLISH.yar.my dear daoshi.hmm.need to check dictionary sometimes to understand what he's saying.i think all daoshis are the same.they must've taken this course to standardise their way of speakin before they take on the job.

13. Who is 9 going out with?
I WISH I KNEW.(tell tell tell!!)

14. How old is 8 now?
20!(i rmbed!!*beams*)

15. When was the last time you talked to 1?
a few days ago?it's hols now,and u'd think we'll have more chances to talk.but i guess everyone's busy...LYNN,i want a good heart to heart talk asap k girl?

16.What is 2's favourite band/singer?
whoa thats tough.coz u know sinyee really doesnt have anything bad to say abt ANYONE or ANYTHING.nothing mean anyway.so like,EVERYONE'S her fav(: unless that band/singer seriously piss her off,which is almost impossible.

17. Would you ever date 7
shucks for the LAST TIME,audrey is a GIRL.hmm..but if she were a guy,yes,maybe.HAHS.

18. Would you ever date 11?
never thought of that possibility coz he's not exactly my type.but he's a great guy and friend!=) lucky shot for the girl who gets to date him!

19.Have you ever seen 8 naked?
no,why would i have??i wouldnt have seen ANYONE naked except the girls in my family!see,i still have a pure and clean mind,even after knowing danny(:

People whom you want to pass this on: jamie,sixuan,tiffany,peizhi?but she might be busy...ohman my social life is seriously cramped..i cant think of anymore ppl!!

tranquility ; 9/08/2006 11:12:00 pm.

6.9.06

today was the first official day of sep hols.

i say official becoz monday and tuesday were wasted doing school n mischellaneous stuffs.like,monday was my bsp exam paper,which went ok,except i didnt have enough time to finish source based qns.and tuesday was...oh yes,i went to sinyee's hse in the aftnn to discuss our gold coast project.

reckon we'll finish it on time,but might not actually win it.hell.191 teams!!we're just like one pitiful grp of 2 out of a 191 teams!so yea..and after the bsp exam,me and sinyee were abit out of drive for the project,but i told her we must at least submit something by the deadline.i wont have outsiders sayin we're all talks and no work.

i embarked on this personal optional project to prove to that sceptical tchr of mine that i AM of some good.i know i didnt need to,like,God loves me the way i am blah blah.but in reality,i had to do something to prove to myself that i am capable to achieving stuffs too.

how many times have i given up halfway?first my ballet,then third lang,chinese dance,o level music..it's like i just think im so brilliant but in actual fact,i hadnt done anything to prove this.

and piano.yes piano.stupid sheety piano.i love it man.i love the touch of the keys and the feeling of YESS when i play some cheemo mozart piece from the wadeva century.i just picture myself playin in front of a large audience.

large audience.yes,of course.i love performing.i've always loved being the centre of attention,probably sth to do with being the oldest.but i've loved being on stage and hearing the applause,even if im not in the limelight.maybe that's why i joined chinese dance.i enjoyed it while it lasted,then realised it wasnt my cup of tea.

so i joined hiphop.and i loved it too.but dad made me stop.even though i seriously think i had potential and my tchr obviously thought so too.sheet.

im like some sad little girl in meg cabot's books.you know,like shopaholic.always thinkin im ruddy capable and stuff,but actually i cant achieve half of what really capable ppl can achieve.

im just an airhead with an attitude,like melanie in annie dalton's book.always excited abt this and that,makin frens,helping ppl,hopping around doing interesting things that i claim to be my passion...

gosh.if i hadnt realised all these now,i may be one of those ppl who wake up in bed at the age of seventy and discover i have led an empty life.goodness.

but thank God,and i mean THANK GOD.i met Jesus before things went too wrong.and He sent all these amazing ppl into my life to let me know what is means to truly live a life worthy of Him.

like,that horrible tchr who looks down on me?or so i think.well,she said the other day that im a curious girl by nature,and i take interest in many things,so i get distracted easily.if i wanted to do well in my studies and cut down on careless mistakes,i have to use my heart.

use my heart.

it made alot of sense,not just in my studies,but in my life as well.i felt like God was speakin to me.i have to use my heart!i have to use my heart to feel Him,to understand His words.and i have to use my heart in whatever im doing,so that i dont end up jack of all trades,master of none.

i must use my heart so i will stop being another wandering soul on this earth,tryin to find my identity and figure out my purpose in life!

so like yea,i went one big round and i'll just go back to point one now.

i joined the gold coast competition to prove sth,but there really isnt a need.lookin back now,i realise i have accomplised things that pleased the Lord.and isnt that more impt than pleasing the ppl in my life?

i might not have attained achievements in certs and trophies,but i know,as long as i use my heart to live my life,i have many crowns prepared for me in heaven.

every morning i walk past the salvation army,and there's a sentence there that is always very meaningful to me:

Hand to Man,Heart to God.

agape,my friends.

tranquility ; 9/06/2006 10:32:00 pm.