28.11.06
life's gettin hilarious these days.
i think it's the weather (or probably the ham.they sell the best ham in the world here k.), but sth's giving me the giggles almost daily.
ppl like TP,dd,and gang will know i get hysterical at a particular time every day.sometimes it's towards the end of sch,sometimes it's just after recess.so like,im glad im still normal in that sense.even if it's,yea,laughing like a maniac at nth..
started on bk2 of my magicator series.it's goin to be full of surprising characters,both new and old,and a really dark plot.u might not even like the characters anymore.but wadever.im a little stuck currently.cant find motivation to write on (type on,actually),so i stuff up my time with bks and more bks from the lib,where yours truly is seated right now.
(i strongly recommend Blinded By The Light, by Sherry Ashworth.it's about cult grps and their beliefs.it reminds us christians how we can end up if we take our beliefs too mechanically and do not reflect upon what we do.the bk also shows us what it means to truly believe in sth,and questions the essence of believing in a force.)
but i just read an email from alicia.i had asked her what she thot of the first bk,and her reply gave me reasons to continue(: so thanks alicia,my number one fan!(:
im really lookin forward to sch.but that's not for another 2 mths (HAH),so im thinkin of takin hip hop classes again with jamie.and we've been reading "classified" for puppies on sale,though personally i would prefer a dog,coz less hassle and experience needed.
hmm...there's alot more to say,like the weird things we do at home.but basically,i sleep at 10 daily and wake up 12 hrs later.hehhs.and i get nice dreams abt L. yea,the weird and funny guy in deathnote.
time's running out.
enjoy hols and church,ppl!seeya soon (i hope)!
tranquility ; 11/28/2006 06:56:00 am.
22.11.06
heyy thanks everyone for ur tags.have to do a quick one here,coz rushing home soon (in dad's office again).
things are improving here after one wk.i guess after a while,even the weird start to seem normal.and im gettin used to everything,even the weather.i've stopped hugging my heater already,probably coz we're officially entering summer.
the family's really starting to settle in,we even got our new seven seater car today!(: and by next sat,we'll be out of the lousy rental house and in our own bunglow with a really pretty garden!
i took some pics of this lousy rental house,as well as my first batch of muffins(: will host them up asap!
went to see some labrador pups together.thinkin of gettin one.but they're pure bred,and super ex.plus mum keeps goin on abt responsibility and puppies being cute but dogs being naughty and stuff...sheesh.i've made up my mind,alright.i want a four legged friend to listen to me,coz nowadays,im startin to think i cant really talk to anyone.
as in, jamie's really nice and stuff,so are my parents,but some things just cant be said so easily.you know that feeling?talkin to a dog will be better than talkin to the mirror in any situation,right?
right.
so,i'll just let mum know my firm decision and she'll see im serious abt this whole dog thing.
mum found us a church too,a chinese one,near where we're stayin now.we dropped by it this aftnn,and i must say,it feels really great and comforting seeing so many chinese all in one place.it's like one big family.i dont see many chinese on the streets,but today at the church,they were appearing from all directions,like ants gathering for a feast or sth.and i just felt so proud,becoz even in a foreign land,us chinese can still survive becoz of our common love for God(: we're like wild seeds or sth,no matter where we're scattered,we can still sprout and grow!and sooner or later,we'll come together as one body, encouraging and supporting one another.
okies dokes gtg now.
take lots of care, minnie,dd,dingjia,coco,yulan,daoshis,yfers,sixers,dgs,and everyone else reading this!have lots of fun in the holidays and i'll call asap!(:
p.s posting letters are SUPER EX here.like,S$2.40 for ONE LETTER??including stamps and stuffs.so like,i figured i wont be writing letters to you guys any day soon...really sorry,but it's really not an affordable rate >.<
LOVE YA GUYS!
jenny <3
tranquility ; 11/22/2006 04:30:00 pm.
17.11.06
IM FINALLY IN TOUCH WITH THE WORLD AGAIN.BUT I CAN ONLY POST A QUICK ONE NOW COZ JAMIE USED THIS COMP IN MY DAD'S OFFICE FOR A V.LONG TIME JUST NOW SO WE NEED TO RUSH HOME NOW.
i just read the tags and well,thanks everyone,they make me feel alot better,but my post is not going to be the happy me.things here are different from what i expected,and i expected myself to take it with a better mood too.
i havent got a card that can let me call back,or use the internet (im in dad's office now),so like,i feel so distant and far from everyone.it's so depressing.and i wonder how i can live here for the next 2 yrs,assuming im goin somewhere else for uni.
i miss everyone like hell ok.my first night 2 days ago was NOT enjoyable.i squeezed in with jamie and joyce even though we have one bed each.they think it's coz im scared of sleeping alone,but truth is,im scared to face the night alone.it's so sad and lonely and depressing for me right now.
the things i seek comfort in these few days is the bible study i got from the daoshis,and the taiwan drama series Devil Beside You starring Rainie Yang.these are the only things that remind me of who i am and my chinese origins.i tell jamie not to watch the show too quickly,coz she is like chiong-ing through the discs,coz im scared of what will happen after i watch finish the show.i will have no more chinese shows to watch,seeing that the temporary hse we're stayin in has no internet or television.im scared of going crazy being in a place that doesnt smell familiar.
it's weird suddenly being the minority,but im gaining comfort after going out this aftnn and seeing other ppl of other races too.the ppl here seem nice enough,but it's really hard not to wonder if ur race matters to the majority.identity crisis?maybe.
pls pray for me.im like praying every min when i feel depressed now,coz i know im at my weakest point,and it's the easiest time for Satan to attack...
the night here is short.it only gets dark after 8pm,and it's bright as the sun by 5pm.thats sth i like abt this place,coz nights are lonely and they made me feel sad,so it's good to keep them short.
it's cold here only in the morning and evening.i found a new bestie,and it's the heater by the kitchen.it's like a metal casing that radiates really strong heat,so im literally hugging it every morning and evening coz it's FREEZING.and it's supposedly starting of summer already!i cant imagine winter here...
they speak funny here.they pronounce letter E literally,like my name,JENNY CHEN,becomes GENIE CHEEEN or sth,and CHESS becomes CHEESE.hmm -.-"
i've received several cultural shocks already,like the fact that some big grocery shops dont pack ur food nicely into plastic bags like they always do in singapore.they just scan and put the food back into an empty trolley,and expect u to do the packin by the side yourself.
and the fact that we have no telly and internet really doesnt improve the situation.pls.God.i need a miracle.i need a miracle to tide me through all these,to start a new life after spending 14yrs in singapore and to get used to everything here...
like introducing myself as GENIE,to start with...
im startin sch only in mid feb and i've decided to choose media studies,jap,classical studies (which is really great coz it includes historical,cultural and literacy studies of ancient rome,greek etc),maths and eng(which is compulsory).of coz,they might not let me take jap coz the other students would have started a yr ago.if they dont allow,then i'll just take the pointless economics.
the subjects are cool right.they even have subjects like history of art,performing music,multimedia,physical education,horticulture...lots and lots!(:
but im prepared to just be quiet and be the study geek for the next 2 yrs in my new high sch.im tired of makin frens already,especially when im the new kid all over again,and i have to leave my bestie and everyone else in singapore.im sure the kids in my sch have besties and cliques too,so maybe i'll just be on my own.and i dont think i'll mind.i'll just work hard and get a scholarship or sth.and i thought i'll be really sporty and nice when i get here,join a hip and sporty cca like tennis or dance,but now i think im destined to be a "club person" afterall.im thinkin of joining the christian group,or the radio/film club,but dad is thinkin of the debate club.hmm.so like,yea,im the club girl...
just as i thought,im having another identity crisis all over again. like,whoo,well done GENIE.you thought you were so secure and confident with all that frens in singapore,but apparently,you werent,coz now put to the test,u're not sure again.
major shit ok.im pissed off with myself for not being able to be cool abt everything and just submerge into the new environment.maybe im giving myself too much pressure,but i really dont see how i can get used to this place.
i want to go home and i want to go to for yf outing on sunday.i want my blanket that i left behind and i want to see TP.i want to go hwa chong and i want to tell lynn personally abt the sermon by andrew peh.the last sermon that i heard in hcmc.abt true christian friends.
if not for my family,i would have mentally broken down million of times le.but the fact that im not alone here makes things better.i hope i can be strong and just be myself here.but it'll take some time.
shit.i shouldnt be worrying everyone here on my blog,but i probably am.like u must be picturing me crying in a sad little corner of the hse or sth.i've only cried once so far,and that was at night.
now,i try to tire myself out as much as possible in the day,so i can fall asleep immediately at night.then when i wake in the morning,there's so much to do i dont have to think.as much to do as just watchin Devil Beside You,that is..
and i cant find my Upper Room.
this is annoying and frustrating.i misplaced the cd with a video TP made for me,but i just watched the video mich made.i want to go hcmc this sunday,and not some strange place with zero chinese.i want to go hmv and hear all those chinese songs.i want to hear good and pure chinese,even those with heavy china accents.
i never thought my origin will be so impt to me.im missing yes933 and i want to watch channel 8.it's so shitty.i cant speak their weird english with the E and stuffs.i cant be all smiley and OH HELLO YES GOOD DAY TO YOU TOO to every shop assisstant i meet.and i cant live here for the next 2 yrs.
i went back to singapore last night in my dreams,i was in nanyang,and i saw sandy and lynn in rjc uniform.they were leavin for china immersion and then the classroom was all empty,only i was there alone.i woke up and for a split second i couldnt remember where i was.then of coz i knew.
im in christchurch,new zealand.in a bed on the second floor of 11 Montana Ave.(this is not my final address,so dont post anything yet).
everything still seems so unreal.i can still remember everything in singapore as though i can just take a bus back.but duh.i cant.i cant even take a boat back.i have to take a plane.which makes the distance between me and everyone seem even greater.
plus there is a 5hr time difference.im 5hrs faster than u guys,so in the day,im always thinkin stuffs like "nicholas shld be playin comp in class now", "is lynn suffering in china coz of her cramps?", "TP should be enjoying her comp game now", "coco could be writing now", "are the daoshis preparing for the yf outing?"....
i feel like u guys are always behind me and i keep wishing i can slow down the time so we can at least be experiencing the same hr together.but thats not possible,coz God made the world this way,and i gladly acccept it,even if it's suffocating.
im sry no pics yet.no time to have fun so far.i'll upload pics asap.but till the next time i get to touch a comp with internet connection,u wont be hearing from me,and vice versa.
take care my frens.miss you lots and lots.
with deepest love,
jenny
tranquility ; 11/17/2006 03:58:00 pm.
10.11.06
i had food poisoning at 2am this morning. Puked for 3 hrs before i finally convinced dad n mum that i seriously need the doctor. He gave me a jab to stop the volmitting (which didnt exactly work, thankyou), and a whole pile of pills that not only looks disgusting but taste equally bad.
well, all that is over now, and im finally feeling abit better, after more than 16hrs of rest. And then while i was napping, i though of ten things that will make me happy in new zealand.
I will be happy in my new country if:
1. They sell Pokka Green Tea and any kind of decent ice lemon tea (it's, like, a sin not to have these. i mean, ice cubes taste the best in these 2 drinks.)
2. They show Deathnote 2 in cinemas.
3. They have neoprint machines, which i highly doubt >.<
4. They have good and clean public swimming pools.
5. Mum decides to start breeding dogs, which i think crossed her mind once or twice(:
6. I dont do poorly in school and embarrass the name of Singapore.
7. I can find a church as good as the one im in now.
8. I can make frens who are as lovable as the ones i have here.
9. I get to decorate me own room, which will be really exciting coz for once in my lifetime, i'll have some privacy while sleeping.
10. Get a webcam and mic so i can still keep in contact with ppl here!
There. Not too much to ask for, is it? Hah. of coz not. I'm always reasonable when it comes to happiness(: easily satisfied.
Hm.. These words are starting to get blur.. maybe the effects of not wearing my specs while using the comp is finally showing. I'd better stop now.
Missing everyone already!(:
tranquility ; 11/10/2006 07:08:00 pm.
28.11.06
life's gettin hilarious these days.
i think it's the weather (or probably the ham.they sell the best ham in the world here k.), but sth's giving me the giggles almost daily.
ppl like TP,dd,and gang will know i get hysterical at a particular time every day.sometimes it's towards the end of sch,sometimes it's just after recess.so like,im glad im still normal in that sense.even if it's,yea,laughing like a maniac at nth..
started on bk2 of my magicator series.it's goin to be full of surprising characters,both new and old,and a really dark plot.u might not even like the characters anymore.but wadever.im a little stuck currently.cant find motivation to write on (type on,actually),so i stuff up my time with bks and more bks from the lib,where yours truly is seated right now.
(i strongly recommend Blinded By The Light, by Sherry Ashworth.it's about cult grps and their beliefs.it reminds us christians how we can end up if we take our beliefs too mechanically and do not reflect upon what we do.the bk also shows us what it means to truly believe in sth,and questions the essence of believing in a force.)
but i just read an email from alicia.i had asked her what she thot of the first bk,and her reply gave me reasons to continue(: so thanks alicia,my number one fan!(:
im really lookin forward to sch.but that's not for another 2 mths (HAH),so im thinkin of takin hip hop classes again with jamie.and we've been reading "classified" for puppies on sale,though personally i would prefer a dog,coz less hassle and experience needed.
hmm...there's alot more to say,like the weird things we do at home.but basically,i sleep at 10 daily and wake up 12 hrs later.hehhs.and i get nice dreams abt L. yea,the weird and funny guy in deathnote.
time's running out.
enjoy hols and church,ppl!seeya soon (i hope)!
tranquility ; 11/28/2006 06:56:00 am.
22.11.06
heyy thanks everyone for ur tags.have to do a quick one here,coz rushing home soon (in dad's office again).
things are improving here after one wk.i guess after a while,even the weird start to seem normal.and im gettin used to everything,even the weather.i've stopped hugging my heater already,probably coz we're officially entering summer.
the family's really starting to settle in,we even got our new seven seater car today!(: and by next sat,we'll be out of the lousy rental house and in our own bunglow with a really pretty garden!
i took some pics of this lousy rental house,as well as my first batch of muffins(: will host them up asap!
went to see some labrador pups together.thinkin of gettin one.but they're pure bred,and super ex.plus mum keeps goin on abt responsibility and puppies being cute but dogs being naughty and stuff...sheesh.i've made up my mind,alright.i want a four legged friend to listen to me,coz nowadays,im startin to think i cant really talk to anyone.
as in, jamie's really nice and stuff,so are my parents,but some things just cant be said so easily.you know that feeling?talkin to a dog will be better than talkin to the mirror in any situation,right?
right.
so,i'll just let mum know my firm decision and she'll see im serious abt this whole dog thing.
mum found us a church too,a chinese one,near where we're stayin now.we dropped by it this aftnn,and i must say,it feels really great and comforting seeing so many chinese all in one place.it's like one big family.i dont see many chinese on the streets,but today at the church,they were appearing from all directions,like ants gathering for a feast or sth.and i just felt so proud,becoz even in a foreign land,us chinese can still survive becoz of our common love for God(: we're like wild seeds or sth,no matter where we're scattered,we can still sprout and grow!and sooner or later,we'll come together as one body, encouraging and supporting one another.
okies dokes gtg now.
take lots of care, minnie,dd,dingjia,coco,yulan,daoshis,yfers,sixers,dgs,and everyone else reading this!have lots of fun in the holidays and i'll call asap!(:
p.s posting letters are SUPER EX here.like,S$2.40 for ONE LETTER??including stamps and stuffs.so like,i figured i wont be writing letters to you guys any day soon...really sorry,but it's really not an affordable rate >.<
LOVE YA GUYS!
jenny <3
tranquility ; 11/22/2006 04:30:00 pm.
17.11.06
IM FINALLY IN TOUCH WITH THE WORLD AGAIN.BUT I CAN ONLY POST A QUICK ONE NOW COZ JAMIE USED THIS COMP IN MY DAD'S OFFICE FOR A V.LONG TIME JUST NOW SO WE NEED TO RUSH HOME NOW.
i just read the tags and well,thanks everyone,they make me feel alot better,but my post is not going to be the happy me.things here are different from what i expected,and i expected myself to take it with a better mood too.
i havent got a card that can let me call back,or use the internet (im in dad's office now),so like,i feel so distant and far from everyone.it's so depressing.and i wonder how i can live here for the next 2 yrs,assuming im goin somewhere else for uni.
i miss everyone like hell ok.my first night 2 days ago was NOT enjoyable.i squeezed in with jamie and joyce even though we have one bed each.they think it's coz im scared of sleeping alone,but truth is,im scared to face the night alone.it's so sad and lonely and depressing for me right now.
the things i seek comfort in these few days is the bible study i got from the daoshis,and the taiwan drama series Devil Beside You starring Rainie Yang.these are the only things that remind me of who i am and my chinese origins.i tell jamie not to watch the show too quickly,coz she is like chiong-ing through the discs,coz im scared of what will happen after i watch finish the show.i will have no more chinese shows to watch,seeing that the temporary hse we're stayin in has no internet or television.im scared of going crazy being in a place that doesnt smell familiar.
it's weird suddenly being the minority,but im gaining comfort after going out this aftnn and seeing other ppl of other races too.the ppl here seem nice enough,but it's really hard not to wonder if ur race matters to the majority.identity crisis?maybe.
pls pray for me.im like praying every min when i feel depressed now,coz i know im at my weakest point,and it's the easiest time for Satan to attack...
the night here is short.it only gets dark after 8pm,and it's bright as the sun by 5pm.thats sth i like abt this place,coz nights are lonely and they made me feel sad,so it's good to keep them short.
it's cold here only in the morning and evening.i found a new bestie,and it's the heater by the kitchen.it's like a metal casing that radiates really strong heat,so im literally hugging it every morning and evening coz it's FREEZING.and it's supposedly starting of summer already!i cant imagine winter here...
they speak funny here.they pronounce letter E literally,like my name,JENNY CHEN,becomes GENIE CHEEEN or sth,and CHESS becomes CHEESE.hmm -.-"
i've received several cultural shocks already,like the fact that some big grocery shops dont pack ur food nicely into plastic bags like they always do in singapore.they just scan and put the food back into an empty trolley,and expect u to do the packin by the side yourself.
and the fact that we have no telly and internet really doesnt improve the situation.pls.God.i need a miracle.i need a miracle to tide me through all these,to start a new life after spending 14yrs in singapore and to get used to everything here...
like introducing myself as GENIE,to start with...
im startin sch only in mid feb and i've decided to choose media studies,jap,classical studies (which is really great coz it includes historical,cultural and literacy studies of ancient rome,greek etc),maths and eng(which is compulsory).of coz,they might not let me take jap coz the other students would have started a yr ago.if they dont allow,then i'll just take the pointless economics.
the subjects are cool right.they even have subjects like history of art,performing music,multimedia,physical education,horticulture...lots and lots!(:
but im prepared to just be quiet and be the study geek for the next 2 yrs in my new high sch.im tired of makin frens already,especially when im the new kid all over again,and i have to leave my bestie and everyone else in singapore.im sure the kids in my sch have besties and cliques too,so maybe i'll just be on my own.and i dont think i'll mind.i'll just work hard and get a scholarship or sth.and i thought i'll be really sporty and nice when i get here,join a hip and sporty cca like tennis or dance,but now i think im destined to be a "club person" afterall.im thinkin of joining the christian group,or the radio/film club,but dad is thinkin of the debate club.hmm.so like,yea,im the club girl...
just as i thought,im having another identity crisis all over again. like,whoo,well done GENIE.you thought you were so secure and confident with all that frens in singapore,but apparently,you werent,coz now put to the test,u're not sure again.
major shit ok.im pissed off with myself for not being able to be cool abt everything and just submerge into the new environment.maybe im giving myself too much pressure,but i really dont see how i can get used to this place.
i want to go home and i want to go to for yf outing on sunday.i want my blanket that i left behind and i want to see TP.i want to go hwa chong and i want to tell lynn personally abt the sermon by andrew peh.the last sermon that i heard in hcmc.abt true christian friends.
if not for my family,i would have mentally broken down million of times le.but the fact that im not alone here makes things better.i hope i can be strong and just be myself here.but it'll take some time.
shit.i shouldnt be worrying everyone here on my blog,but i probably am.like u must be picturing me crying in a sad little corner of the hse or sth.i've only cried once so far,and that was at night.
now,i try to tire myself out as much as possible in the day,so i can fall asleep immediately at night.then when i wake in the morning,there's so much to do i dont have to think.as much to do as just watchin Devil Beside You,that is..
and i cant find my Upper Room.
this is annoying and frustrating.i misplaced the cd with a video TP made for me,but i just watched the video mich made.i want to go hcmc this sunday,and not some strange place with zero chinese.i want to go hmv and hear all those chinese songs.i want to hear good and pure chinese,even those with heavy china accents.
i never thought my origin will be so impt to me.im missing yes933 and i want to watch channel 8.it's so shitty.i cant speak their weird english with the E and stuffs.i cant be all smiley and OH HELLO YES GOOD DAY TO YOU TOO to every shop assisstant i meet.and i cant live here for the next 2 yrs.
i went back to singapore last night in my dreams,i was in nanyang,and i saw sandy and lynn in rjc uniform.they were leavin for china immersion and then the classroom was all empty,only i was there alone.i woke up and for a split second i couldnt remember where i was.then of coz i knew.
im in christchurch,new zealand.in a bed on the second floor of 11 Montana Ave.(this is not my final address,so dont post anything yet).
everything still seems so unreal.i can still remember everything in singapore as though i can just take a bus back.but duh.i cant.i cant even take a boat back.i have to take a plane.which makes the distance between me and everyone seem even greater.
plus there is a 5hr time difference.im 5hrs faster than u guys,so in the day,im always thinkin stuffs like "nicholas shld be playin comp in class now", "is lynn suffering in china coz of her cramps?", "TP should be enjoying her comp game now", "coco could be writing now", "are the daoshis preparing for the yf outing?"....
i feel like u guys are always behind me and i keep wishing i can slow down the time so we can at least be experiencing the same hr together.but thats not possible,coz God made the world this way,and i gladly acccept it,even if it's suffocating.
im sry no pics yet.no time to have fun so far.i'll upload pics asap.but till the next time i get to touch a comp with internet connection,u wont be hearing from me,and vice versa.
take care my frens.miss you lots and lots.
with deepest love,
jenny
tranquility ; 11/17/2006 03:58:00 pm.
10.11.06
i had food poisoning at 2am this morning. Puked for 3 hrs before i finally convinced dad n mum that i seriously need the doctor. He gave me a jab to stop the volmitting (which didnt exactly work, thankyou), and a whole pile of pills that not only looks disgusting but taste equally bad.
well, all that is over now, and im finally feeling abit better, after more than 16hrs of rest. And then while i was napping, i though of ten things that will make me happy in new zealand.
I will be happy in my new country if:
1. They sell Pokka Green Tea and any kind of decent ice lemon tea (it's, like, a sin not to have these. i mean, ice cubes taste the best in these 2 drinks.)
2. They show Deathnote 2 in cinemas.
3. They have neoprint machines, which i highly doubt >.<
4. They have good and clean public swimming pools.
5. Mum decides to start breeding dogs, which i think crossed her mind once or twice(:
6. I dont do poorly in school and embarrass the name of Singapore.
7. I can find a church as good as the one im in now.
8. I can make frens who are as lovable as the ones i have here.
9. I get to decorate me own room, which will be really exciting coz for once in my lifetime, i'll have some privacy while sleeping.
10. Get a webcam and mic so i can still keep in contact with ppl here!
There. Not too much to ask for, is it? Hah. of coz not. I'm always reasonable when it comes to happiness(: easily satisfied.
Hm.. These words are starting to get blur.. maybe the effects of not wearing my specs while using the comp is finally showing. I'd better stop now.
Missing everyone already!(:
tranquility ; 11/10/2006 07:08:00 pm.
