16.2.07
", they&their big fat attitude problem."
first wk of school has ended.
let's look back at my moods for the past five days:
mon - crap
tues - less crap
wed - same as tues
thurs - ok
friday - crap
math tchr is lousy.
cant teach. and i can come up with better solutions than him for those so called challenging qns he set.
i cant believe the school put me in a normal math class.
it's bad enough im doing yr12 math (which is basically our ny sec4 syllabus and less), but im not even in the MAX class, which is like a special yr12 math class for brainiacs.
math is such a bore now.
we're going series and sequences now, which is basically like number patterns.
darn i need to speak to the HOD of math.
dont wanna waste time doing repeated math topics.
felt sick today. sore throat and tiredness.
think it's PMS. but whatever.
it's the weekends now!!
wheee(:
was a wandering soul again during interval.
that 20mins is like torture everyday.
i walk the long way to my locker to kill some time, then take my time to open the locker, hang around vicky and gang for a few mins, leave becoz i was feeling extra and mute, go for my next lessons 10mins earlier, sit down and do some studying, and then lessons starts.
whoo what a life.
i seriously miss everyone in singapore.
i miss
TP's dramatic narration of her family's quirkiness,
lynn's exciting encounters with a gazillion guys,
sinyee's lame jokes,
jas&yoyo's squabbling voices from behind me,
gloria's cheem-ness when it comes to music and literature,
aud&kelly's wonderful two-ppl productions,
and all the sixers' unique behaviours.
and in the yf:
michelle&pam productions,
minnie&sixuan's drama mama acts,
the
daoshis and their seriousness when it comes to the bible,
nicholas my emo rubbish bin,
coco the teenage drama queen,
the fantastic worship teams,
and every other single yfer that made up that weird crazy family.
i had a life in singapore, 2 lives actually.
but here im starting from zero once again.
it sucks and i havent felt this way for a long time.
i know i can only pray and hope now,
but honestly, i dont care.
i've lived 16yrs trying to find my true friends and establish a unique social circle.
it may seem small and strange, made up of an assortment of ppl.
but at least it's there and i'd done it.
but now it's gone again and i just dont give a damn abt trying again.
the koreans in school stick to their own species,
the taiwanese are all cutsey pies with their striking poses and giggly voices,
the caucasians are hard to understand becoz i've never in my life had interaction with them,
and the only singaporeans i know might have already formed a two ppl clique.
so whatever.
these past few days i've been reading the purpose driven life.
and it keeps reminding me not to care too much abt things that dont matter.
so true.
i shldnt be bothered abt making ppl like me and all that.
i shldnt be bothered even if ppl see me as a geek who hugs a math textbook all the time and draw ugly images for design class.
i'll get used to hanging around during interval and joining the YG for lunch every day.
most of them are yr13 and next yr they'll be gone.
i'll worry abt my social status then.
for now i'll just be the kid without a clique.
hmm sounds cool actually(:
p.s pls dont worry or think jenny has changed in any way.
i just dont have the energy and time right now to start being a social butterfly anymore.
plus i dont see a need to find a crowd at this point of time.
im being inactive, i know.
but it's alright, really ^-^
im not depressed abt it anymore!
everyone stay happy in wherever they are right now, k?
i'll see you guys soooon...(:
tranquility ; 2/16/2007 02:49:00 pm.
