3.2.07
you think you're so blardy educated and wise.
so much so that you dont understand where im coming from.
well i dont care. coz guess what. i've finally found the courage and voice to stand up to you.
dont get the wrong idea. it's not like i've been deprived of any joy in life.
life has been good these 16yrs. so far.
i've happy childhood memories (except the ones in which you cane me like siao), and you're a good dad in general.
you have many brilliant qualities dads these days are lacking. and you are willing to listen to us whenever we have sth to say.
but now here's the problem.
we talk, yes, you listen, uh huh.
but then the next day. you had a tired day at work, you come back feeling weary and grumpy. mum starts a small complaint abt someone not doing the dishes.
and BAM.
your scolding spree starts.
nag nag nag. grumble grumble grumble.
all agreements and discussions we had previously were cancelled out.
it's just too bad, isnt it?
that i cant really talk to u abt anything now.coz i've realised, that u listen, but u dont follow up.
from ur P.O.V, u're always right, always talking sense.
maybe thats true.
maybe 10yrs later, i'll look back and think i've been such an ungrateful fool.
but for now, seriously, i think i can get nothing into ur head.
ur thick head of so called wisdom and education.
i've always taken pride in the fact that my family is one that has good communication.
sth that is lacking in many others.
but good communication is only valid when all parties are taken into consideration and the effect is seen in the family.
i still love you, and i'll forget this official quarrel of ours soon enough.
but then, i know this problem is never solved. and it probably never will be.
it's been enjoyable living in this family under one roof.
but u know.
sometimes a little distance is good for everyone.
they always say absence makes the heart fonder.
and i think being apart will help us appreciate each other more.
i'm praying for the day i graduate from high school, dad.
i'm praying for the day i can go to univ and live with my own frens.
i know when that day comes, i'll probably find myself in tears, unwilling to leave this warm home.
but then i will be thrilled.
and then later, perhaps i will regret my firm decision.
i will want to come back to you.
if i do, the whole cycle will start again. maybe.
but if i ever do come back,
i know you'll always welcome me.
with open arms.
afterall.
that's what dads are for.
tranquility ; 2/03/2007 02:41:00 pm.
