3.4.08
,"it is not by strength that one prevails;" 1 Sam 2:9b the results are all out now.
im not going to america this yr,
coz even though i have been offered places in some colleges, i lack the financial funding.
hmm i thought i'll be really disappointed,
but u know what,
God can really change one's heart.
when he closes a door for me,
he gives me enough peace and faith to accept taking another path.
sometimes it's hard
to suddenly find myself facing a dead end
coz i've been so sure its the path im meant to walk.
its hard
to suddenly realise i need another plan,
that somehow im meant to go to B instead of A.
its overwhelming in fact
to be hit by the reality
that things are really not that simple.
but im ok now,
completely at peace.
the new plan is
to go to Univ of Auckland next yr,
its located in the north island of NZ,
and ranked quite highly on the international platform.
the amazing thing is,
my parents are actually fine with this,
they've accepted the fact
that i've tried my best to go to america
but the time isnt right yet
and God wants me to go somewhere else instead.
i find it funny now,
thinking back to when i first came to NZ.
i was so sure
that im only staying here for 2 yrs max.
i wanted to go places,
i wanted to leave NZ,
as soon as possible.
but its funny
how things have worked out.
now im looking at myself,
seeing myself here in NZ
for the next few yrs.
and im actually ok with that(:
i do feel disappointment of course
but not coz my plan for myself failed
but coz not going to america
means not seeing an old friend for another few yrs.
the bitterness of this truth hurts
coz we've both been trying so hard,
but our friendship has lasted for so long
this will be but another test.
God does provide,
and even when things dont turn out the way i expect it to, there's always another door waiting for me.
praise him
hallelujah!
tranquility ; 4/03/2008 07:14:00 am.
