29.12.08
went to tianjin last wk, then left beijing, currently in Gouyang of Anhui Province.
before this we were in Bo Zhou, also in Anhui.
day after tmr we'll be going to He Fei, capital of Anhui.
most of the big time activities will be happening there!
we'll be covering most of our shopping there, our photo taking session by professionals, and basically just going nuts.
jamie and i have each got a new cellphone.
hers is from Sony Ericsson walkman series and mine is from the Nokia Xpress Music series, and we l.o.v.e our phones(:
i also got a camera from dad, it's not new, but it belongs to me now ^^
after we've spent a wk in He Fei, we'll be heading to our final destination:
Zhong Yang of Anhui, the village of dad's birth and childhood.
there we will spend the Chinese New Year, receive ang baos, and get together with all our relatives on dad's side(:
AND THEN!
we're going home to New Zealand yo~~~~!!
i'll see you guys real soon yea!
enjoy the summer u lucky ppl~!!
tranquility ; 12/29/2008 08:52:00 pm.
22.12.08
Still in Beijing.
Been busy training with jamie coz dad got us a professional coach and we have training everyday in addition to our own practise sessions outside class.
i admit it was gruelling the first few lessons, i couldn't take the physical workout and the coach's high standards.
i was so close to quitting two days ago becoz i felt it was pointless for me to train any further.
i didn't just want to quit training, i wanted to give up bmt altogether and pick up another sport.
but then i knew in my heart that God doesn't want me to quit, because "Quitting Is Not The Christian Way.
That has been my motto for the past 2 yrs or so.
God is faithful to those who trusts in him.
Just when i was mullng over the matter in my heart, hesitant of whether i shld continue with the training, God brought me to meet one of my cousins who is studying at the number one uni in Beijing.
He is the same age as me, currently in his sophomore yr of uni.
he came from the same village as dad and grew up in a humble environment, but he graduated from high sch with a score high enough to allow him to come to Beijing to study.
he also got a scholarship that settled his financial difficulties.
Meeting him was the spark that inspired me to continue with training.
I saw how determined and focused he is, even in uni when he has other activities and a whole lot of electives to do he never thinks abt giving up.
Looking at how far he has come, and then looking at myself, i feel a sudden determination to be strong and keep on going.
When i was in sec 1, i gave up Japanese after half a yr.
When i was in sec 3, i gave up Chinese Dance because i couldn't take the physical hardship.
When i came to NZ, i gave up Sciences because i found interest in the arts and humanity.
It seems all my life i have been giving up, but this has to end somewhere.
I won't give up bmt, because it may prove to be the only thing i can persevere with and come through a stronger person.
God never allows us to be tempted beyond what we can endure.
I know the devil is trying its hardest to tempt me into depression and denial again, but my strength is in the Lord and i know i can make it.
Hope is trust in the Lord, knowing that he has plans for me.
The results for my uni applications are slowly but surely being revealed.
I am waiting with much anticipation and anxiety.
I dare not wish to be in a place without considering God's will for me, dare not think abt being in a place without being sure that is where i am meant to be.
Each time i think, "surely so-and-so uni will accept me", i stop myself and say, "no, God can change even the surest matters."
Being in Beijing has humbled me greatly, i have been broken and lifted up. I have learnt to trust even in the smallest matter.
I have also, to my own surprise, learnt to think and reflect in quietness, to stay silent and listen for God's voice.
In the past i always thought i have to share my problems with someone else to solve it, tell my problems to the world, discuss it with some guru.
But now i realise i can do it without telling a single soul, i can think things through not by my own strength and wisdom but by God's purest guidance.
Praise the Lord, for he is truly worthy.
tranquility ; 12/22/2008 03:58:00 pm.
17.12.08
Location: Beijing
Next stop: Tian Jin
not much to report, except we've reached Beijing and seen the Bird Nest and Cube on the way to the university hotel.
Beijing is really refreshing.
It's surprisingly clean and neat, really high-tech and comfortabe.
To be able to see the city skyline is really amazing. In some other cities, the air is so polluted you can't see the horizon.
Looking forward to exploring this pleasant city.
Joyce has been adopted by our hosts in Wuhan as god-daughter.
the woman is mum's childhood friend and they grew up together and has been to school together since primary school all the way till end of high school.
the marriage between Joyce's godparents was match-made by mum many yrs ago so they are forever grateful to mum so to speak.
in any case, on our last night at their hse, they officially adopted Joyce as god-daughter.
jamie and i were like,
"Ohhh! Boohooo!! it's just the two of us now...xiang1 yi1 wei2 ming4...we have to find godparents too!!"
haha.
but i do realise that this godparenting thing is really abt having another child to pamper and spoil.
usually the youngest child of another family gets adopted, the older ones are usually too old to be pampered, not "cute" enough.
anyway, Joyce is enjoying being a god-daughter. She has received 2000 Yuan from her godparents.
cool eh.
so i was asking mum at the Wuhan airport if joyce can take jamie and i shopping when we get to Beijing. haha.
i want godparents for my children in future too!
ok jamie wants comp now.
ciao!
tranquility ; 12/17/2008 09:31:00 pm.
14.12.08
hey ppl tag leh!
only yulan and jas have left msgs so far but i know more of u are out there reading my posts in secrecy horr...thanks for ur silent support ya~
went to the famous Huang He Lou today
(Yellow Crane Tower)
there's this saying,
"It will be ur regret if you don't go to the Yellow Crane Tower, but it will be an even deeper regret if u ever go."
which basically means,
because it is so famous, it'll be a pity if u don't visit it.
but once u do,
u realise it's actually nothing much...
so the regret is even deeper~
hahh.
i like that saying.
it's quite true.
i got really tired climbing stairs and slopes = =
then finally everyone went to look at some fabulous stones, so i stayed behind at a designated spot to wait for them with joyce coz i wasn't interested in stones.
hmm what else.
ohyes praise the Lord.
jamie and joyce have recovered from their prolonged diahorrea.
oh and we went to church today.
yes i know!
so exciting right!
it was a really humbling experience.
they were more advanced than i expected, they had powerpoint and microphones, but the piano was really out of tune and the pianist was...nervous, maybe.
i saw how little the ppl had to offer, yet they had such big, loving hearts and they sang those old, "boring" hymns with such zest and enthusiasm.
i felt truly humbled and almost ashamed.
there we are, in CCC, a perfectly well built and well equiped church.
with a fantastic lighting and sound system, stage setup and musical instruments.
but we have so many problems, we see the thorns in each other's eyes, we still have so much to complain.
are we, in the midst of all our complaints, forgetting the true nature of worship? pure and holy worship?
what is it that makes a worship truly joyful and blessed?
we try so hard to create a "perfect" music with drums and guitars and keyboards, trying to create a "worship atmosphere", to be a true "worship leader".
but these terms are contemporary terms.
they mean nothing to the ppl of the past, the ppl with a true heart of worship.
"when the music fades, and all is stripped away..."
what are we left with?
our drums? our guitars?
those will be gone.
and our voices?
will they ever be perfect enough?
can we still find God in our worship, without music, without sounds?
can we find Him in the smallest whisper? in our own breathing? in the silent darkness?
i worry that the true meaning of worship is being lost, i worry that i have lost myself in the music.
but above all,
i worry i have lost God in the avid pursue of an "emotional worship experience".
some will say that the church we went to today is a "boring, traditional church".
indeed, it may be, and i cannot say for sure that i can get used to it.
but no one can deny the purity of such a church, the earnest hearts in this temple.
the challenge, for me, is not whether i can adapt to such a "boring, traditional" form of worship, but whether i can retain the nature of such a worship in the contemporary worship scene.
the music can be misleading, it can be tempting, it can even be fatal.
it is not the music we have to listen to, but the sound of our heart singing it.
another thing that touched me at the church today was a special fellowship they had called the "Married Couple Fellowship".
obviously, it is a fellowship for married couples.
this fellowship has a choir, and when they went up onto the stage to sing, they went up in pairs and it was a really sweet scene.
my eyes went teary when the pastor requested that the wives present roses to their husbands, tell them "i love u" and give them a big hug.
i don't know why, but i felt really touched and tearful.
some of the couples are old, and it was really wonderful to see two in love till their old age.
perhaps, looking at them, i see myself a few yrs down the road.
perhaps i was looking at a scene i wish i could be a part of.
it is a scared love that two ppl share, and it is an experience that few are blessed with.
such a love in Christ is holy and unbreakable.
i wish for the happiness of all those couples, that their love will last through the ages.
finally, i was awed by the number of ppl who received Christ at the altar call.
about 30 went up, and the church congregation was probably as big as our church.
30 new believers!
it is incredible.
God bless those ppl and guard their hearts, for i cannot help but fear for their faith as they step out into the world and face so many challenges in this chaotic and pragmatic society.
but one thing i know for sure: once a child of God, always a child of God.
nothing can change that and no one can take that away from us.
tranquility ; 12/14/2008 07:44:00 pm.
13.12.08
Jamie was pissed
coz i have developed this habit of zooming into ppl's faces after the pics have been taken on our digicam and seeing their expressions up close, warts and all.
then i say,
"HA JAMIE! u look funny!"
and she'll be like,
"can u stop it? it's very annoying leh."
it's really becoz we take so many grp pics with friends of our parents, so our faces always come out really small, especially when we take pics at scenic landscapes.
so i find the zoom in function really useful.
except of course i think i kindda abuse the function and play too much with it, coz once i zoomed in so close to Jamie's face that it looks like those huge "Missing Person" headline photos u see in the newspaper.
yea jamie got really pissed = ="
not funny.
anyway, i've started calling joyce a Thing.
no ill meanings, really, just a friendly, sisterly nickname or sth.
coz when she laughs really hard and giggles the way she does, her face would split into this really huge toothy grin and she'll quiver like a live toy, so i said she looks like this smiley, twitching Thing.
there's like no better word to use at that time, though "Mouse" would have been pretty close too.
but she looks more like a Thing than a Mouse.
going off on a tangent,
Jamie insists that the game on neopets, "Meepit Juice" is an educational game, coz it's classified under 'Educational' but frankly i think it's just a whole load of random clicking.
and she lost at Cheat.
how is that even possible on neopets?
we went to Wu Han University today and then over to the Hu Bei Museum.
quite interesting, we looked at artefacts from the various dynasties and also the human evolution process.
but then jamie and i still got really bored.
jamie was more bored than me,
and we called each other "no culture".
sad, really.
we got lost in one of the exhibitions and couldn't find the exit, so we went back and came out from the entrance only to find the exit next to it.
and i decided that the most boring job in the world is to be a museum exhibition guard.
u just look smart in that uniform but ur only job is to tell ppl to keep off the exhibition glass and get glared at.
and ur only companions are artegacts and skeletons.
SAD.
oh and i probably haven't mentioned this before, but before we came to china, jamie and i made a pact or sth.
we said that while we are in china, we would have to try and find one guy that all three of us (meaning including joyce) agree he is shuai4.
sounds easy right?
2mths in china and travelling all around?
there's bound to be at least ONE guy on the streets all 3 of us can agree on?
but it's been 3wks and still zilch.
i mean, please,
i've seen at least 2,
but jamie and joyce are like,
BLEECCK WHAT IS THAT?
sigh what's wrong with some ppl.
i saw another one at the museum today.
jamie's like,
"tsk tsk jenny. coming to museums to look at guys ah."
like i shld be looking at the dead ppl.
but come on,
not like i was actually LOOKING at guys.
it was she who reminded me of our pact when she said, "hmm we still haven't found one yet hor."
so then i looked around real casually and saw him.
i thought he looked really cute,
he had this child-like keenness abt him,
going around taking photos of the artefacts and checking things out with his friends.
it's not everyday u see a guy interested in museums.
it's probably the best place to find a bf, or a library, my personal favourite.
anyway.
i nicknamed him ANDI, coz he was wearing a jacket with an ANDI brand name across it.
jamie was like,
"WHAT! YUCK LA JENNY!
HE'S HORRIBLE!"
so she asked joyce what she thought when we next bumped into him at another exhibition on another floor, and joyce said the same thing.
i felt injustice for him.
seriously.
they probably didn't look at him carefully enough.
hummph.
then when we left the museum, sth really funny happened.
jamie said (no offence to anyone out there),
"i don't like china boys."
and i thought she said "china STUFF", as in like ancient artefacts in museusm etc.
so i said,
"oh, i like them,
but i don't like just looking at them, i like someone explaining them to me, like a tour guide. u rmb that time we went to beijing and had that guide? yea that was nice and..."
that's when jamie stopped me and asked me what rubbish i was saying.
and then of course i realise my mistake.
and it was hilarious.
coz if u take what i said and placed it in the context of jamie's statement, it has a totally different meaning.
imagine having a tour guide explaining to me the boys we meet in china!
"this is so and so from the province of Hu Bei.
Born in the year of the dragon, he enjoys a variety sports and exels in blahblahblah."
haha. not everyday conversations like this take place.
so anyway, yea the search is still ongoing.
though it seems to be doomed to certain failure.
sigh.
jamie says i'm screwed.
coz apparently i like "horrible looking" guys, according to her.
but i said that she's the screwed one, coz her standards are so super high.
and joyce nonetheless upholds her belief that one day i'll marry someone with glasses and freckles, though she has been kind enough recently to take the "freckles" quality out of her prophecy.
so yep, according to joyce, my bf/husband will be a nerd.
which is fine, i like nerds, everyone knows that.
hmm ANDI has glasses.
tranquility ; 12/13/2008 07:09:00 pm.
12.12.08
Location: Wu Han
Next stop: Beijing
Second day here in Wu Han, so I haven't seen much yet.
Qiandao Hu was an absolute delight.
There are literally a thousand islands on the lake that is abt the size of Singapore.
A few of those islands are open to tourists and each of those islands has sth entertaining.
One is called Ostrich Island,
and we rode on an ostrich there!
They have keepers on the islands and they take care of the animals that have been put onto the islands for tourism purposes.
Then there's a Snake Island where they rear snakes (shivers...) and we took photos with the boa constrictor i think.
eew. it was so heavy and scaly.
oh and we fed deers too.
they were really cute eh!
but the most thrilling experience was probably hand feeding peacocks and taking photos with a tame one.
i bet not many ppl get to hug a peacock eh!
it's been brought up to be used to human handling so it just sat on its perch and let us pat it and hug it(:
that's the gist of what happened at Qiandao Hu.
really exciting for us and the view is breathtaking.
the water is so clear too.
i have also, in the past wk, officially coined the word "Shruti".
SHRUTI:
(n)someone who exists non-existently; to be ignored
e.g. "Throughout the entire lecture, no one was listening to the professor's words of wisdom. By the end of it, he had become a shruti."
the more i use it, the more it grows on me.
it just sounds like a proper word.
joyce and jamie has started using it too.
although, quite annoyingly, they tend to use it on me.
dad has been busy preparing for his lectures at each of our stop.
ytd he was at Zhe Jiang University,
and this morning he was giving a talk at HUST
(Huazhong University of Sci&Tech).
i hope he doesn't become a shruti like in my example,
but i doubt he will.
i went to one of his lectures once,
at the open day of UC,
and it was really quite entertaining and fascinating.
i was impressed.
jamie's diahorrea is still as bad.
joyce's condition is improving slowly.
i'm basically well and alive.
i think the hotel we checked into last night is haunted,
well i don't know.
once a pastor or sth came to church,
and he was talking abt the gifts of the spirit.
and on the spot he began to identify certain gifts that ppl had.
he pointed straight at mum and said she had the gift of hospitality.
anyway, he said i have the gift of discerning and intercession.
apparently it means i can sense the presence of evil spirits but also that of the holy spirit.
it also means i can pray for intensive amt of hrs for a single event or person, interceding on his or her behalf.
i don't know eh.
sounds a bit farfetched to me, the praying thing i mean.
the longest i ever prayed is probably 20mins.
but the discerning thing.
well.
maybe.
but i do sense things,
whether it's real sensing or just my psycho-self, i don't know.
so anyway,
i didn't like that hotel.
it's too old and too stale.
joyce didn't like it either.
coz the toilet was too far from the rooms.
haha.
it was tucked down right at the other end of the apartment.
in any case,
ghost or no ghost,
mum and dad decided we can't stay in such a place.
(no hot water!!)
so we moved out this morning and we're now staying comfortably at a friend's hse where there's internet (yayy!!)
and i don't sense any spirits here XD
ok i gtg now.
pls pray for my continued spiritual growth,
that i will not neglect my spiritual life here where God's presence is so meek amongst the ppl.
tranquility ; 12/12/2008 02:11:00 pm.
9.12.08
location: Hang Zhou
next stop: Wu Han
well what do you know.
turns out we all fell victim to the so-called
"shui2 tu3 bu4 fu2" illness.
i had stomach flu for the last 2 days in Shanghai,
spent it in hospital,
hooked up to that water bag dripping thing,
had to seat in that chair for 4.5hrs on the first day,
and 2hrs for the 2nd.
had to take a finger-prick blood test too.
they pricked my finger with this NOT thin thumbtack thingy.
ouch la.
but it was real quick.
and my results show i have unnaturally high amt of whtite blood cells i think.
then joyce fell ill just before we left shanghai.
and she had to do the finger-prick thing too,
and she kept saying she hates that person.
good thing is she didn't need to take the water dripping treatment.
and now jamie is having diahorrea.
yea.
it's been pretty crazy.
so anyway, gist of it is, we're all just trying to survive now.
but Hang Zhou is really nice.
I'M GOING TO QIANDAO HU TMR!!
(THOUSAND ISLAND LAKE)
i read and learnt abt it from an article in the chinese txtbk,
back when i was still in the BSP at NYGH,
and ever since then it's been my fantasy to visit this beautiful scenic place i've heard so much abt!
ok im in a hotel lobby using their internet,
but there's still someone smoking around me,
so i shall leave now.
update soon.
tranquility ; 12/09/2008 03:11:00 pm.
4.12.08
at the moment i am in shanghai,
the never-ending city of development.
going online is a problem,
coz i dont really want to waste hrs
at an internet cafe.
anyway, i'm at someone's hse now,
so it's a lot more comfortable.
since coming to shanghai,
we've basically been following the same daily routine.
we leave the condo apartment at 10am,
catch the condo shuttle to an MRT station
(yes i know! so cool eh! they have MRT stations here that are SOO much like the ones in singapore! nostalgia~~)
and then we take the MRT to some place we've never been to,
and shop till we drop.
most of the times it's just window shopping,
but we still walk till we drop.
lunch and dinner are mostly taken outside,
breakfast is bread and egg or sth,
coz the apartment isn't that well equiped.
dad's friend owns that apartment
but coz he doesn't live there
he kindly allowed us to live there while we're here in shanghai.
and i think i'll mention that the condo is in this huge place
that forms a small town or sth.
it's a rich ppl santuary complete with a golf course,
swimming complex,
acres and acres of MANSIONS,
and an entire section of condos.
you can seriously get lost in this place,
so the shuttle bus is a BIG help.
anyway, yea, that's life so far in shanghai.
shopping, eating, walking.
very much like living in Singapore minus the schooling.
dad's arriving tmr morning (yay!)
so i'm looking forward to a reunion.
it's really good,
for once not having to think abt hol hmwk,
or next yr's sch course while i'm on holiday.
it's good to be able to hang out with the girls,
go silly and laugh till we choke.
we practically have one major joke for each day,
everyday sth really stupid happens
and we laugh abt it for the whole day.
then the next day there'll be sth new to laugh abt.
it's almost always abt me,
but mehh,
i'm used to that.
today's joke is:
"Mono&Shruti;
Shruti, the non-existent Indian friend."
hahahah.
it's really funny but i apologise if no one gets it coz it's really an inside joke.
it started when i rmbed someone called SHRUTI.
an Indian girl.
so i asked Joyce if she rmbs that friend of hers.
and she says
"huh? i dont have a friend called SHRUTI ah."
i insisted that she does,
or someone called PARVATI, maybe,
or ASHANTI?
"NO leh... don't have ah..."
huhh?? then how come i rmb someone called SHRUTI??
"jamie, u have a friend called SHRUTI right?
it must be u."
"huh? what? SHRUTI?
i dont have an Indian friend ah."
then joyce reminded jamie,
"yes u do, u once told me abt an Indian friend,
quite fat, and when she runs her fat wobbles and all that."
"nono, that wasn't her Indian friend," i said, "that's her."
so then, just to try my luck, i asked mum abt SHRUTI.
as expected, she said no, no idea who that is.
and so SHRUTI became the non-existent Indian friend,
who till now i STILL believe exists,
just that no one rmbs her.
ohman...
sorry SHRUTI!
whoever u are!
and how did Mono&Shruti come abt?
well, it's like this.
joyce then bought this chinese flute thing,
plays like a recorder,
except it's like a hu2 lu4,
and it's made of bamboo or sth.
there are three pipes on it,
and there's a foam plug for some reason,
and we were trying to decide what it was for.
it was definitely for plugging one of the pipes,
except we didn't know if it made any difference to the sound.
then we figured out that it's to create a mono and stereo sound.
if u unplug all the pipes,
it creates a stereo sound,
if u plug one of it,
it becomes mono.
i came up with that explanation,
mono and stereo i mean.
and joyce was fascinated,
kept asking us to repeat that phrase,
so she could rmb it.
so jamie said,
"m-o-n-o...and...s-t-e-r-e-ohhhh.."
and then i just suddenly randomly said,
"SHRUTI."
dont ask me why!
i dont know why!
it just seemed funny at that time.
maybe coz "stereo" and "SHRUTI"
both start with "S".
joyce was cracking up like humpty dumpty
and i was too.
i told the girls i have a secret dream
of being a cartoonist
drawing my own cartoon strip.
and i said i'll name my two characters
Mono&Shruti.
hah. just coz it sounds so random and spastic.
and then, haha,
the hilarious thing is,
after i said that,
joyce couldnt rmb "stereo"
she rmbed
"mono" and "SHRUTI"
instead of "mono" and "stereo".
HAHAHA.
weird.!
but funny. haha.
joke of today.
too bad jamie doesn't appreciate half of it.
sigh.
sad ppl.
as much as i'll like to,
i can't share with u lovely ppl all the jokes we've had,
coz even i can't rmb all of it.
and internet is always a problem.
but still, i hope u guys are all having fun,
wherever u are
(how was UB??)
i'll see u NZ ppl in feb,
and SG ppl...sometime further in the future.
and u American girl...even further in the future.
but i WILL seeya guys yea?
meanwhile, take care u guys!
<3
tranquility ; 12/04/2008 06:46:00 pm.
29.12.08
went to tianjin last wk, then left beijing, currently in Gouyang of Anhui Province.
before this we were in Bo Zhou, also in Anhui.
day after tmr we'll be going to He Fei, capital of Anhui.
most of the big time activities will be happening there!
we'll be covering most of our shopping there, our photo taking session by professionals, and basically just going nuts.
jamie and i have each got a new cellphone.
hers is from Sony Ericsson walkman series and mine is from the Nokia Xpress Music series, and we l.o.v.e our phones(:
i also got a camera from dad, it's not new, but it belongs to me now ^^
after we've spent a wk in He Fei, we'll be heading to our final destination:
Zhong Yang of Anhui, the village of dad's birth and childhood.
there we will spend the Chinese New Year, receive ang baos, and get together with all our relatives on dad's side(:
AND THEN!
we're going home to New Zealand yo~~~~!!
i'll see you guys real soon yea!
enjoy the summer u lucky ppl~!!
tranquility ; 12/29/2008 08:52:00 pm.
22.12.08
Still in Beijing.
Been busy training with jamie coz dad got us a professional coach and we have training everyday in addition to our own practise sessions outside class.
i admit it was gruelling the first few lessons, i couldn't take the physical workout and the coach's high standards.
i was so close to quitting two days ago becoz i felt it was pointless for me to train any further.
i didn't just want to quit training, i wanted to give up bmt altogether and pick up another sport.
but then i knew in my heart that God doesn't want me to quit, because "Quitting Is Not The Christian Way.
That has been my motto for the past 2 yrs or so.
God is faithful to those who trusts in him.
Just when i was mullng over the matter in my heart, hesitant of whether i shld continue with the training, God brought me to meet one of my cousins who is studying at the number one uni in Beijing.
He is the same age as me, currently in his sophomore yr of uni.
he came from the same village as dad and grew up in a humble environment, but he graduated from high sch with a score high enough to allow him to come to Beijing to study.
he also got a scholarship that settled his financial difficulties.
Meeting him was the spark that inspired me to continue with training.
I saw how determined and focused he is, even in uni when he has other activities and a whole lot of electives to do he never thinks abt giving up.
Looking at how far he has come, and then looking at myself, i feel a sudden determination to be strong and keep on going.
When i was in sec 1, i gave up Japanese after half a yr.
When i was in sec 3, i gave up Chinese Dance because i couldn't take the physical hardship.
When i came to NZ, i gave up Sciences because i found interest in the arts and humanity.
It seems all my life i have been giving up, but this has to end somewhere.
I won't give up bmt, because it may prove to be the only thing i can persevere with and come through a stronger person.
God never allows us to be tempted beyond what we can endure.
I know the devil is trying its hardest to tempt me into depression and denial again, but my strength is in the Lord and i know i can make it.
Hope is trust in the Lord, knowing that he has plans for me.
The results for my uni applications are slowly but surely being revealed.
I am waiting with much anticipation and anxiety.
I dare not wish to be in a place without considering God's will for me, dare not think abt being in a place without being sure that is where i am meant to be.
Each time i think, "surely so-and-so uni will accept me", i stop myself and say, "no, God can change even the surest matters."
Being in Beijing has humbled me greatly, i have been broken and lifted up. I have learnt to trust even in the smallest matter.
I have also, to my own surprise, learnt to think and reflect in quietness, to stay silent and listen for God's voice.
In the past i always thought i have to share my problems with someone else to solve it, tell my problems to the world, discuss it with some guru.
But now i realise i can do it without telling a single soul, i can think things through not by my own strength and wisdom but by God's purest guidance.
Praise the Lord, for he is truly worthy.
tranquility ; 12/22/2008 03:58:00 pm.
17.12.08
Location: Beijing
Next stop: Tian Jin
not much to report, except we've reached Beijing and seen the Bird Nest and Cube on the way to the university hotel.
Beijing is really refreshing.
It's surprisingly clean and neat, really high-tech and comfortabe.
To be able to see the city skyline is really amazing. In some other cities, the air is so polluted you can't see the horizon.
Looking forward to exploring this pleasant city.
Joyce has been adopted by our hosts in Wuhan as god-daughter.
the woman is mum's childhood friend and they grew up together and has been to school together since primary school all the way till end of high school.
the marriage between Joyce's godparents was match-made by mum many yrs ago so they are forever grateful to mum so to speak.
in any case, on our last night at their hse, they officially adopted Joyce as god-daughter.
jamie and i were like,
"Ohhh! Boohooo!! it's just the two of us now...xiang1 yi1 wei2 ming4...we have to find godparents too!!"
haha.
but i do realise that this godparenting thing is really abt having another child to pamper and spoil.
usually the youngest child of another family gets adopted, the older ones are usually too old to be pampered, not "cute" enough.
anyway, Joyce is enjoying being a god-daughter. She has received 2000 Yuan from her godparents.
cool eh.
so i was asking mum at the Wuhan airport if joyce can take jamie and i shopping when we get to Beijing. haha.
i want godparents for my children in future too!
ok jamie wants comp now.
ciao!
tranquility ; 12/17/2008 09:31:00 pm.
14.12.08
hey ppl tag leh!
only yulan and jas have left msgs so far but i know more of u are out there reading my posts in secrecy horr...thanks for ur silent support ya~
went to the famous Huang He Lou today
(Yellow Crane Tower)
there's this saying,
"It will be ur regret if you don't go to the Yellow Crane Tower, but it will be an even deeper regret if u ever go."
which basically means,
because it is so famous, it'll be a pity if u don't visit it.
but once u do,
u realise it's actually nothing much...
so the regret is even deeper~
hahh.
i like that saying.
it's quite true.
i got really tired climbing stairs and slopes = =
then finally everyone went to look at some fabulous stones, so i stayed behind at a designated spot to wait for them with joyce coz i wasn't interested in stones.
hmm what else.
ohyes praise the Lord.
jamie and joyce have recovered from their prolonged diahorrea.
oh and we went to church today.
yes i know!
so exciting right!
it was a really humbling experience.
they were more advanced than i expected, they had powerpoint and microphones, but the piano was really out of tune and the pianist was...nervous, maybe.
i saw how little the ppl had to offer, yet they had such big, loving hearts and they sang those old, "boring" hymns with such zest and enthusiasm.
i felt truly humbled and almost ashamed.
there we are, in CCC, a perfectly well built and well equiped church.
with a fantastic lighting and sound system, stage setup and musical instruments.
but we have so many problems, we see the thorns in each other's eyes, we still have so much to complain.
are we, in the midst of all our complaints, forgetting the true nature of worship? pure and holy worship?
what is it that makes a worship truly joyful and blessed?
we try so hard to create a "perfect" music with drums and guitars and keyboards, trying to create a "worship atmosphere", to be a true "worship leader".
but these terms are contemporary terms.
they mean nothing to the ppl of the past, the ppl with a true heart of worship.
"when the music fades, and all is stripped away..."
what are we left with?
our drums? our guitars?
those will be gone.
and our voices?
will they ever be perfect enough?
can we still find God in our worship, without music, without sounds?
can we find Him in the smallest whisper? in our own breathing? in the silent darkness?
i worry that the true meaning of worship is being lost, i worry that i have lost myself in the music.
but above all,
i worry i have lost God in the avid pursue of an "emotional worship experience".
some will say that the church we went to today is a "boring, traditional church".
indeed, it may be, and i cannot say for sure that i can get used to it.
but no one can deny the purity of such a church, the earnest hearts in this temple.
the challenge, for me, is not whether i can adapt to such a "boring, traditional" form of worship, but whether i can retain the nature of such a worship in the contemporary worship scene.
the music can be misleading, it can be tempting, it can even be fatal.
it is not the music we have to listen to, but the sound of our heart singing it.
another thing that touched me at the church today was a special fellowship they had called the "Married Couple Fellowship".
obviously, it is a fellowship for married couples.
this fellowship has a choir, and when they went up onto the stage to sing, they went up in pairs and it was a really sweet scene.
my eyes went teary when the pastor requested that the wives present roses to their husbands, tell them "i love u" and give them a big hug.
i don't know why, but i felt really touched and tearful.
some of the couples are old, and it was really wonderful to see two in love till their old age.
perhaps, looking at them, i see myself a few yrs down the road.
perhaps i was looking at a scene i wish i could be a part of.
it is a scared love that two ppl share, and it is an experience that few are blessed with.
such a love in Christ is holy and unbreakable.
i wish for the happiness of all those couples, that their love will last through the ages.
finally, i was awed by the number of ppl who received Christ at the altar call.
about 30 went up, and the church congregation was probably as big as our church.
30 new believers!
it is incredible.
God bless those ppl and guard their hearts, for i cannot help but fear for their faith as they step out into the world and face so many challenges in this chaotic and pragmatic society.
but one thing i know for sure: once a child of God, always a child of God.
nothing can change that and no one can take that away from us.
tranquility ; 12/14/2008 07:44:00 pm.
13.12.08
Jamie was pissed
coz i have developed this habit of zooming into ppl's faces after the pics have been taken on our digicam and seeing their expressions up close, warts and all.
then i say,
"HA JAMIE! u look funny!"
and she'll be like,
"can u stop it? it's very annoying leh."
it's really becoz we take so many grp pics with friends of our parents, so our faces always come out really small, especially when we take pics at scenic landscapes.
so i find the zoom in function really useful.
except of course i think i kindda abuse the function and play too much with it, coz once i zoomed in so close to Jamie's face that it looks like those huge "Missing Person" headline photos u see in the newspaper.
yea jamie got really pissed = ="
not funny.
anyway, i've started calling joyce a Thing.
no ill meanings, really, just a friendly, sisterly nickname or sth.
coz when she laughs really hard and giggles the way she does, her face would split into this really huge toothy grin and she'll quiver like a live toy, so i said she looks like this smiley, twitching Thing.
there's like no better word to use at that time, though "Mouse" would have been pretty close too.
but she looks more like a Thing than a Mouse.
going off on a tangent,
Jamie insists that the game on neopets, "Meepit Juice" is an educational game, coz it's classified under 'Educational' but frankly i think it's just a whole load of random clicking.
and she lost at Cheat.
how is that even possible on neopets?
we went to Wu Han University today and then over to the Hu Bei Museum.
quite interesting, we looked at artefacts from the various dynasties and also the human evolution process.
but then jamie and i still got really bored.
jamie was more bored than me,
and we called each other "no culture".
sad, really.
we got lost in one of the exhibitions and couldn't find the exit, so we went back and came out from the entrance only to find the exit next to it.
and i decided that the most boring job in the world is to be a museum exhibition guard.
u just look smart in that uniform but ur only job is to tell ppl to keep off the exhibition glass and get glared at.
and ur only companions are artegacts and skeletons.
SAD.
oh and i probably haven't mentioned this before, but before we came to china, jamie and i made a pact or sth.
we said that while we are in china, we would have to try and find one guy that all three of us (meaning including joyce) agree he is shuai4.
sounds easy right?
2mths in china and travelling all around?
there's bound to be at least ONE guy on the streets all 3 of us can agree on?
but it's been 3wks and still zilch.
i mean, please,
i've seen at least 2,
but jamie and joyce are like,
BLEECCK WHAT IS THAT?
sigh what's wrong with some ppl.
i saw another one at the museum today.
jamie's like,
"tsk tsk jenny. coming to museums to look at guys ah."
like i shld be looking at the dead ppl.
but come on,
not like i was actually LOOKING at guys.
it was she who reminded me of our pact when she said, "hmm we still haven't found one yet hor."
so then i looked around real casually and saw him.
i thought he looked really cute,
he had this child-like keenness abt him,
going around taking photos of the artefacts and checking things out with his friends.
it's not everyday u see a guy interested in museums.
it's probably the best place to find a bf, or a library, my personal favourite.
anyway.
i nicknamed him ANDI, coz he was wearing a jacket with an ANDI brand name across it.
jamie was like,
"WHAT! YUCK LA JENNY!
HE'S HORRIBLE!"
so she asked joyce what she thought when we next bumped into him at another exhibition on another floor, and joyce said the same thing.
i felt injustice for him.
seriously.
they probably didn't look at him carefully enough.
hummph.
then when we left the museum, sth really funny happened.
jamie said (no offence to anyone out there),
"i don't like china boys."
and i thought she said "china STUFF", as in like ancient artefacts in museusm etc.
so i said,
"oh, i like them,
but i don't like just looking at them, i like someone explaining them to me, like a tour guide. u rmb that time we went to beijing and had that guide? yea that was nice and..."
that's when jamie stopped me and asked me what rubbish i was saying.
and then of course i realise my mistake.
and it was hilarious.
coz if u take what i said and placed it in the context of jamie's statement, it has a totally different meaning.
imagine having a tour guide explaining to me the boys we meet in china!
"this is so and so from the province of Hu Bei.
Born in the year of the dragon, he enjoys a variety sports and exels in blahblahblah."
haha. not everyday conversations like this take place.
so anyway, yea the search is still ongoing.
though it seems to be doomed to certain failure.
sigh.
jamie says i'm screwed.
coz apparently i like "horrible looking" guys, according to her.
but i said that she's the screwed one, coz her standards are so super high.
and joyce nonetheless upholds her belief that one day i'll marry someone with glasses and freckles, though she has been kind enough recently to take the "freckles" quality out of her prophecy.
so yep, according to joyce, my bf/husband will be a nerd.
which is fine, i like nerds, everyone knows that.
hmm ANDI has glasses.
tranquility ; 12/13/2008 07:09:00 pm.
12.12.08
Location: Wu Han
Next stop: Beijing
Second day here in Wu Han, so I haven't seen much yet.
Qiandao Hu was an absolute delight.
There are literally a thousand islands on the lake that is abt the size of Singapore.
A few of those islands are open to tourists and each of those islands has sth entertaining.
One is called Ostrich Island,
and we rode on an ostrich there!
They have keepers on the islands and they take care of the animals that have been put onto the islands for tourism purposes.
Then there's a Snake Island where they rear snakes (shivers...) and we took photos with the boa constrictor i think.
eew. it was so heavy and scaly.
oh and we fed deers too.
they were really cute eh!
but the most thrilling experience was probably hand feeding peacocks and taking photos with a tame one.
i bet not many ppl get to hug a peacock eh!
it's been brought up to be used to human handling so it just sat on its perch and let us pat it and hug it(:
that's the gist of what happened at Qiandao Hu.
really exciting for us and the view is breathtaking.
the water is so clear too.
i have also, in the past wk, officially coined the word "Shruti".
SHRUTI:
(n)someone who exists non-existently; to be ignored
e.g. "Throughout the entire lecture, no one was listening to the professor's words of wisdom. By the end of it, he had become a shruti."
the more i use it, the more it grows on me.
it just sounds like a proper word.
joyce and jamie has started using it too.
although, quite annoyingly, they tend to use it on me.
dad has been busy preparing for his lectures at each of our stop.
ytd he was at Zhe Jiang University,
and this morning he was giving a talk at HUST
(Huazhong University of Sci&Tech).
i hope he doesn't become a shruti like in my example,
but i doubt he will.
i went to one of his lectures once,
at the open day of UC,
and it was really quite entertaining and fascinating.
i was impressed.
jamie's diahorrea is still as bad.
joyce's condition is improving slowly.
i'm basically well and alive.
i think the hotel we checked into last night is haunted,
well i don't know.
once a pastor or sth came to church,
and he was talking abt the gifts of the spirit.
and on the spot he began to identify certain gifts that ppl had.
he pointed straight at mum and said she had the gift of hospitality.
anyway, he said i have the gift of discerning and intercession.
apparently it means i can sense the presence of evil spirits but also that of the holy spirit.
it also means i can pray for intensive amt of hrs for a single event or person, interceding on his or her behalf.
i don't know eh.
sounds a bit farfetched to me, the praying thing i mean.
the longest i ever prayed is probably 20mins.
but the discerning thing.
well.
maybe.
but i do sense things,
whether it's real sensing or just my psycho-self, i don't know.
so anyway,
i didn't like that hotel.
it's too old and too stale.
joyce didn't like it either.
coz the toilet was too far from the rooms.
haha.
it was tucked down right at the other end of the apartment.
in any case,
ghost or no ghost,
mum and dad decided we can't stay in such a place.
(no hot water!!)
so we moved out this morning and we're now staying comfortably at a friend's hse where there's internet (yayy!!)
and i don't sense any spirits here XD
ok i gtg now.
pls pray for my continued spiritual growth,
that i will not neglect my spiritual life here where God's presence is so meek amongst the ppl.
tranquility ; 12/12/2008 02:11:00 pm.
9.12.08
location: Hang Zhou
next stop: Wu Han
well what do you know.
turns out we all fell victim to the so-called
"shui2 tu3 bu4 fu2" illness.
i had stomach flu for the last 2 days in Shanghai,
spent it in hospital,
hooked up to that water bag dripping thing,
had to seat in that chair for 4.5hrs on the first day,
and 2hrs for the 2nd.
had to take a finger-prick blood test too.
they pricked my finger with this NOT thin thumbtack thingy.
ouch la.
but it was real quick.
and my results show i have unnaturally high amt of whtite blood cells i think.
then joyce fell ill just before we left shanghai.
and she had to do the finger-prick thing too,
and she kept saying she hates that person.
good thing is she didn't need to take the water dripping treatment.
and now jamie is having diahorrea.
yea.
it's been pretty crazy.
so anyway, gist of it is, we're all just trying to survive now.
but Hang Zhou is really nice.
I'M GOING TO QIANDAO HU TMR!!
(THOUSAND ISLAND LAKE)
i read and learnt abt it from an article in the chinese txtbk,
back when i was still in the BSP at NYGH,
and ever since then it's been my fantasy to visit this beautiful scenic place i've heard so much abt!
ok im in a hotel lobby using their internet,
but there's still someone smoking around me,
so i shall leave now.
update soon.
tranquility ; 12/09/2008 03:11:00 pm.
4.12.08
at the moment i am in shanghai,
the never-ending city of development.
going online is a problem,
coz i dont really want to waste hrs
at an internet cafe.
anyway, i'm at someone's hse now,
so it's a lot more comfortable.
since coming to shanghai,
we've basically been following the same daily routine.
we leave the condo apartment at 10am,
catch the condo shuttle to an MRT station
(yes i know! so cool eh! they have MRT stations here that are SOO much like the ones in singapore! nostalgia~~)
and then we take the MRT to some place we've never been to,
and shop till we drop.
most of the times it's just window shopping,
but we still walk till we drop.
lunch and dinner are mostly taken outside,
breakfast is bread and egg or sth,
coz the apartment isn't that well equiped.
dad's friend owns that apartment
but coz he doesn't live there
he kindly allowed us to live there while we're here in shanghai.
and i think i'll mention that the condo is in this huge place
that forms a small town or sth.
it's a rich ppl santuary complete with a golf course,
swimming complex,
acres and acres of MANSIONS,
and an entire section of condos.
you can seriously get lost in this place,
so the shuttle bus is a BIG help.
anyway, yea, that's life so far in shanghai.
shopping, eating, walking.
very much like living in Singapore minus the schooling.
dad's arriving tmr morning (yay!)
so i'm looking forward to a reunion.
it's really good,
for once not having to think abt hol hmwk,
or next yr's sch course while i'm on holiday.
it's good to be able to hang out with the girls,
go silly and laugh till we choke.
we practically have one major joke for each day,
everyday sth really stupid happens
and we laugh abt it for the whole day.
then the next day there'll be sth new to laugh abt.
it's almost always abt me,
but mehh,
i'm used to that.
today's joke is:
"Mono&Shruti;
Shruti, the non-existent Indian friend."
hahahah.
it's really funny but i apologise if no one gets it coz it's really an inside joke.
it started when i rmbed someone called SHRUTI.
an Indian girl.
so i asked Joyce if she rmbs that friend of hers.
and she says
"huh? i dont have a friend called SHRUTI ah."
i insisted that she does,
or someone called PARVATI, maybe,
or ASHANTI?
"NO leh... don't have ah..."
huhh?? then how come i rmb someone called SHRUTI??
"jamie, u have a friend called SHRUTI right?
it must be u."
"huh? what? SHRUTI?
i dont have an Indian friend ah."
then joyce reminded jamie,
"yes u do, u once told me abt an Indian friend,
quite fat, and when she runs her fat wobbles and all that."
"nono, that wasn't her Indian friend," i said, "that's her."
so then, just to try my luck, i asked mum abt SHRUTI.
as expected, she said no, no idea who that is.
and so SHRUTI became the non-existent Indian friend,
who till now i STILL believe exists,
just that no one rmbs her.
ohman...
sorry SHRUTI!
whoever u are!
and how did Mono&Shruti come abt?
well, it's like this.
joyce then bought this chinese flute thing,
plays like a recorder,
except it's like a hu2 lu4,
and it's made of bamboo or sth.
there are three pipes on it,
and there's a foam plug for some reason,
and we were trying to decide what it was for.
it was definitely for plugging one of the pipes,
except we didn't know if it made any difference to the sound.
then we figured out that it's to create a mono and stereo sound.
if u unplug all the pipes,
it creates a stereo sound,
if u plug one of it,
it becomes mono.
i came up with that explanation,
mono and stereo i mean.
and joyce was fascinated,
kept asking us to repeat that phrase,
so she could rmb it.
so jamie said,
"m-o-n-o...and...s-t-e-r-e-ohhhh.."
and then i just suddenly randomly said,
"SHRUTI."
dont ask me why!
i dont know why!
it just seemed funny at that time.
maybe coz "stereo" and "SHRUTI"
both start with "S".
joyce was cracking up like humpty dumpty
and i was too.
i told the girls i have a secret dream
of being a cartoonist
drawing my own cartoon strip.
and i said i'll name my two characters
Mono&Shruti.
hah. just coz it sounds so random and spastic.
and then, haha,
the hilarious thing is,
after i said that,
joyce couldnt rmb "stereo"
she rmbed
"mono" and "SHRUTI"
instead of "mono" and "stereo".
HAHAHA.
weird.!
but funny. haha.
joke of today.
too bad jamie doesn't appreciate half of it.
sigh.
sad ppl.
as much as i'll like to,
i can't share with u lovely ppl all the jokes we've had,
coz even i can't rmb all of it.
and internet is always a problem.
but still, i hope u guys are all having fun,
wherever u are
(how was UB??)
i'll see u NZ ppl in feb,
and SG ppl...sometime further in the future.
and u American girl...even further in the future.
but i WILL seeya guys yea?
meanwhile, take care u guys!
<3
tranquility ; 12/04/2008 06:46:00 pm.
