14.12.08
hey ppl tag leh!
only yulan and jas have left msgs so far but i know more of u are out there reading my posts in secrecy horr...thanks for ur silent support ya~
went to the famous Huang He Lou today
(Yellow Crane Tower)
there's this saying,
"It will be ur regret if you don't go to the Yellow Crane Tower, but it will be an even deeper regret if u ever go."
which basically means,
because it is so famous, it'll be a pity if u don't visit it.
but once u do,
u realise it's actually nothing much...
so the regret is even deeper~
hahh.
i like that saying.
it's quite true.
i got really tired climbing stairs and slopes = =
then finally everyone went to look at some fabulous stones, so i stayed behind at a designated spot to wait for them with joyce coz i wasn't interested in stones.
hmm what else.
ohyes praise the Lord.
jamie and joyce have recovered from their prolonged diahorrea.
oh and we went to church today.
yes i know!
so exciting right!
it was a really humbling experience.
they were more advanced than i expected, they had powerpoint and microphones, but the piano was really out of tune and the pianist was...nervous, maybe.
i saw how little the ppl had to offer, yet they had such big, loving hearts and they sang those old, "boring" hymns with such zest and enthusiasm.
i felt truly humbled and almost ashamed.
there we are, in CCC, a perfectly well built and well equiped church.
with a fantastic lighting and sound system, stage setup and musical instruments.
but we have so many problems, we see the thorns in each other's eyes, we still have so much to complain.
are we, in the midst of all our complaints, forgetting the true nature of worship? pure and holy worship?
what is it that makes a worship truly joyful and blessed?
we try so hard to create a "perfect" music with drums and guitars and keyboards, trying to create a "worship atmosphere", to be a true "worship leader".
but these terms are contemporary terms.
they mean nothing to the ppl of the past, the ppl with a true heart of worship.
"when the music fades, and all is stripped away..."
what are we left with?
our drums? our guitars?
those will be gone.
and our voices?
will they ever be perfect enough?
can we still find God in our worship, without music, without sounds?
can we find Him in the smallest whisper? in our own breathing? in the silent darkness?
i worry that the true meaning of worship is being lost, i worry that i have lost myself in the music.
but above all,
i worry i have lost God in the avid pursue of an "emotional worship experience".
some will say that the church we went to today is a "boring, traditional church".
indeed, it may be, and i cannot say for sure that i can get used to it.
but no one can deny the purity of such a church, the earnest hearts in this temple.
the challenge, for me, is not whether i can adapt to such a "boring, traditional" form of worship, but whether i can retain the nature of such a worship in the contemporary worship scene.
the music can be misleading, it can be tempting, it can even be fatal.
it is not the music we have to listen to, but the sound of our heart singing it.
another thing that touched me at the church today was a special fellowship they had called the "Married Couple Fellowship".
obviously, it is a fellowship for married couples.
this fellowship has a choir, and when they went up onto the stage to sing, they went up in pairs and it was a really sweet scene.
my eyes went teary when the pastor requested that the wives present roses to their husbands, tell them "i love u" and give them a big hug.
i don't know why, but i felt really touched and tearful.
some of the couples are old, and it was really wonderful to see two in love till their old age.
perhaps, looking at them, i see myself a few yrs down the road.
perhaps i was looking at a scene i wish i could be a part of.
it is a scared love that two ppl share, and it is an experience that few are blessed with.
such a love in Christ is holy and unbreakable.
i wish for the happiness of all those couples, that their love will last through the ages.
finally, i was awed by the number of ppl who received Christ at the altar call.
about 30 went up, and the church congregation was probably as big as our church.
30 new believers!
it is incredible.
God bless those ppl and guard their hearts, for i cannot help but fear for their faith as they step out into the world and face so many challenges in this chaotic and pragmatic society.
but one thing i know for sure: once a child of God, always a child of God.
nothing can change that and no one can take that away from us.
tranquility ; 12/14/2008 07:44:00 pm.
